Girls, Would you stay or would you go? Help?

My boyfriend of 4 years and husband of 5 months was always kind of self-centered and proud, but in the last few months he had been unbearable. He lived as if he were single. He went out to meet new people literally every day (not necessarily girls, but also girls), and even slept out sometimes. He also would tell me not to make plans counting on him, to live as if he were not my husband and think always of myself first. He would also ask me not to say 'I love you' because it made him feel smothered. Eventually, he made plans to go to a music festival for a week, and I thought it would be healthy to spend some days apart.
That week changed us a lot. I started going out with some friends from work and started feeling a crush for one of them, who clearly let me know he was in love with me. All my husband could speak about upon his return was how this festival was the best thing ever, how he made the best friends ever, and would not stop speaking about a particular girl who was SOOO awesome and independent. To make matters worse, when I told him we needed to change something in our relationship because lately I felt better alone than with him, he jumped to wanting divorce immediately. It escalated SO fast. In the last 2 weeks we have been completely lost. In one minute we are sure divorce is the only possible solution due to how differently we perceive marriage and love, the next we are considering couple therapy and hugging, talking for hours. I have no idea what will happen, but everybody seems to be telling us to just give up and move on. However, the very thought of never seeing him again, or imagining him dating someone else and living the dreams I wanted to live with him, makes me want to scream and punch something. I know I could be happy alone or with somebody else too, but I can't seem to let go of everything we built. Did you ever find yourself confused about what to do with your relationship (married or not)?


0|0

What Girls Said 2

  • I feel for you, it's very, very sad after such a long time together, but believe it or not, sometimes marriage does that to people. Things can be great when you are not officially married, but once that happens, things change, and sometimes for the worse. He is clearly not behaving like a husband or a boyfriend or even a friend to you, his head is elsewhere, and I don't think it can be recaptured. Unfortunately, it's time to dissolve the marriage and move on, just be happy no kids are involved, it could be MUCH worse. I know you must feel awful about breaking it off and imagining him with someone else, but time will heal and hopefully you can find someone who is dedicated to you like a real partner should be.

    1|0
    0|0
  • This is a hard one but it's going to be a choice you have to make rationally thinking ask yourself is he worth the fight? And is he willing to fight for your marriage just as hard as you are willing to do? If you can't answer these simple questions with a yes for both then chances are the marriage won't work, you can't allow yourself to be so deeply in love with a man that's not willing to give you the same amount of love back that you deserve. No marriage is perfect but in order for it to work his selfish ways are going to have to change and if he truly loves you his quickest resolution wouldn't be to head to divorce court that's one sign he's showing you how hard he's willing to fight for your marriage. Good luck hopefully everything will work out and if not then there's someone else's out there that will love and appreciate you.

    1|0
    0|0
Loading...