I miss him, but it's not right?

So, I recently cut things off with my best friend of 4 years. We had slid into an unhealthy and inappropriate relationship and it was killing me because I had feelings for him but he didn't feel the same way.
Now I feel sort of relieved that I can maybe look for a real partner, and it's taken a lot of pressure off of me. But I miss my best friend. I miss hanging out with him. I miss talking about video games and sharing funny memes. I wonder a lot whether he feels the same way. Whether he looks at the gifts I've bought him and thinks of me or if the friendship was all just one sided too, and whether he will throw them away when he's done using them, like he did with me...
As you can see there's a lot of conflicting emotions going on. I can't seem to decide whether I'm bitter or nostalgic/lonely.
What do I do?


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What Guys Said 1

  • I agree with the girls so far. Completely communicate what you want and what you are gonna do. If he considers you the kind of person that meant something to him, then he will understand. I know it's hard because I, too, miss my best friend, but if he can't offer what you want, then please don't let it hurt you anymore. It will take time, but you will heal.
    Or you can wait things out, but that can be emotionally draining just as much as keeping contact so I am not sure what you should do. Just keep yourself happy!

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What Girls Said 2

  • Is he aware that you've cut things off with him? Or are you just silently distancing yourself?
    I'd say talk to him and tell him you're severing ties with him and tell him why, etc.
    There's gonna be lots of conflicting emotions and pain, but unfortunately, time is the best healer. It's gonna be difficult but over time, you'll be able to move on.

    in my opinion, I don't think we stop loving, missing or thinking about someone. It's more like over time, we learn and get used to living without them/having them in our lives/seeing them :(

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    • Yes he knows. We came to the decision jointly. And he did it with a seemingly cold disinterest. Almost like it didn't effect him at all 😔

    • I'm sorry. I know how his indifference would have hurt you, but who knows... Maybe he's silently hurting inside and just isn't showing it cos a lot of guys tend to not express emotions as much as women do.
      Either way, the only thing to do is to just let time take its course. Surround yourself with people who truly care about you and wanna be in your company, do things you enjoy, go out, etc. It's gonna be really hard but when the time comes, you'll be able to look back and smile, and not hurt anymore.

    • Thank you ☺️

  • Listen, I know this is probably not what you wanna hear but, I've cut off unhealthy relationships as well years ago. The best thing to do is talk to him about your feelings and why you cut off the relationship. Now that I think about it, doing it back when my relationships were in trouble probably would have saved them. Now it's been years and I don't even know where they are now a days. You might wanna talk with him before it's too late and he slowly slips away into a place without reach.

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    • Well, I'm really close with his sister. And we've talked about this. It was a mutual agreement to bring things to an end.

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    • I don't know what to tell you then other than to hope for some light in the future. You have to move on, you can't be stuck in this pit of sadness forever. You have to pick up your feet and find someone who will love and care for you the same way as you do for them.

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