When your ex boyfriend leaves you.. is there a chance he may come back?

my ex boyfriend left me a month ago after our 20 month relationship. Said i was not his wife material. Will he realize his loss?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If he broke up with you because you are non-wife material, why would he return to you? He'd return only if he broke up with you on condition that you level up to the status of wife material. Was that the case?

    Likewise, he would only return if "not wife material" wasn't the reason for the breaking up, and no other woman appeals to him but you.

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    • he is confused. from what i know he changes his mind a lot on a lot of things. no it was not that. he said he would not marry. how do guys know who is marriage material and who is not? he did tell me he was scared of marriage but said he wants to one day.. i dunno if its me. but we did talk about marriage.. kids.. home n all of a sudden im not marriage. when i asked him about that he said he should not have and was thinking it through..

Most Helpful Girl

  • Everything is possible, who knows. But I advise you not to take him back if that ever happens. Because you will get very insecure and it will ruin you. What's done is done, try not to look back. If he was the one he wouldn't leave you. You were just incompatible. If you ever do change (I mean if the problem really was you), then your feelings for him change too and as a result you won't want him back anymore. I also do not recommend staying friends. When my ex of 4 years dumped me for similar reason, I tried staying friends because he assured me how he also wants that. After a year he totally disappeared on me, never bothered to contact me or ask me how I'm doing. I heard he has a girlfriend. I regret so much agreeing to stay friends, he didn't only betrayed our relationship, but also our friendship, I was fooled twice. And it's totally my fault. Now that I think about, I have no idea why was I with that looser for so long... he is SO NOT WORTH IT.

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What Guys Said 7

  • www.coolnsmart.com/images/01/49635_original.jpg

    He might but why take someone back that tossed you away and made a comment like that. Your not going to to change from being not "wife material" over a few months.

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  • It is possible - but would really depend on a ton of things - and what he may or may not discover next. Hard to say (at best).

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    • ok. would u consider that i should talk to him face to face to at least b friends. so he will see how cool im. he won't reply to my text or call. any tips or suggestions. hanging out with friends now is not the same.

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    • You sound a bit controlling and wanting to have things your way - get your anger in check, and then if you approach him nicely he probably won't mind it (if you can actually keep that anger in check)

    • yes in time i realized i was wrong but he is acting weird. i did apologize. the least common courtesy is he could have responded to the text if not call. im not controlling. yes i was angry just as anyone would b when they get dumped bc they invested so much in their partner..

  • Maybe, but he probably won't. Not being wife material means the problem was a big deal for him.

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    • but after two months he realized im not his type?

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    • Hey, I ain't saying you were the problem, only that he was never that into you. He may have been, but it seems clear he doesn't want to spend any more time with you. I know its hurting, but you gotta read this and take it into heart. Whatever are his reasons, he ain't coming back. You should focus on feeling good, not on why he left you

    • i know u mean well. im just trying to understand. people say he will never find a girl. like me and he too said the same thing
      the talk much? i am just thinking maybe he bored of me but they say time makes things clearer... so he will realize in time or absence makes the heart grow fonder...

  • I'm sorry to say but it sounds like he was looking for something different, unfortunately. Unlikely he comes back, and even if he does it's like he is just settling and could soon become unhappy again.

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    • i dunno. we did talk about marriage. he told me how many kids he wanted. we were ready to buy a house together. i dunno mayb he felt i was too into. the relationship and he was not. or i complained about how he stood me up etc...

  • Is it a loss? What are you even talking about

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    • im saying how does one know that the person they are with.. is marriage material or not...

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    • how can one think that after 20 months. been through so much. said he appreciated me out of all the other people he met.

    • He still left you, so that's kind of beside the point. He either lied or stopped feeling that way

  • I realize you are hurting right now. I wonder if there are things you did to rub him the wrong way.

    Be strong and talk to other men.

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    • i dunno. he said he was scared of marriage when he ended it but we did talk about marriage. kids. buying home. i dunno if it was me asking where he is.. just out of concern. plus he felt he did not want to share these things. i want to b friends with him

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    • wow i was in the same boat as your x. i too loved my ex n always thought this was it. the fact he ended bc he said he had nothing for me n didn't see me in his future. weird. bc we did talk about our future at times.

    • He dumped you and you still want to talk to him then he is in position of power right now. Remember that the person who is less interested is going to have more bargaining power. It's human nature, it sucks but it's how it is.

      I can tell that you want to talk him badly again (I can relate). It's going to be tough but you need to withdrawal and let him come back. Guys handle break ups differently than women do. Initially we are relieved (I was), we then start to turn to distractions (other women, booze, entertainment, work) etc and then reality hits us hard about 3 to 6 weeks later. This delayed reaction is due to the point that we don't get leeway to act emotional about breaks lest we labeled effeminent.

      Give him some time. Don't text/call. Defriend him from FB. I know thats easier said then done but it's what you need to do to increase your chances of him talking to you again.

  • Doubtful.. Most guys move on. Not wife material is a sure sign, it definitely is over. He's looking long term, and you aren't in his future.

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    • i dunno to me... it seems he is confused. because we did talk about marriage. kids. buying a home together. unless it was all talk? or he just said it to explore his options n will realize there is no better than me. but it sucks that we r not friends.

    • I don't think it matters what people say. You will keep coming back to the "he's confused" thing, and any other excuse. He's a grown man. He knows his own mind.
      You're going to be waiting around for a long time for something that might never happen, and you won't get that wasted time back

      However you guys feel, do not put your life on hold.

What Girls Said 12

  • No offense, but who the heck celebrates 20 months (1 year and 8 months)? That sounds kinda clingy honestly. A relationship should not be your whole world.

    Sounds to me like you were his "right now". Guys have the ability to completely and totally commit to a girl, even while full knowing that he will be leaving her eventually. They'll find a girl that suits the person they are at that moment, and keep her around giving full relationship perks and treatment until they are ready to move onto the next phase in their life.

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    • well thats brutual to make a girl a right now by giving her the perks n making her think they will last n it does not. it is falsehood. why do that. not clingy. i was keeping a count of our relationship.. when its a happy moment why not keep good memories.

  • Yes when he isn't gettin sex he will think of u then chance his luck... ull be hookup girl number bottom of the list...

    I suggest u move on fast go dating without sex get out there even tho ur heart isn't in it do ur best...

    Trust me my lovely ex for past 2 years now contacts me for a hookup even tho has girlfriend etc he gets telt to get to fk...

    u improve urself to the best u can get beautiful.. tone up.. take up hobbies and say no to him then he will realise what he's lost by that time.. ur over him... u kno why? because ur better than him..

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    • i dunno to me... it seems he is confused. because we did talk about marriage. kids. buying a home together. unless it was all talk? or he just said it to explore his options n will realize there is no better than me. but it sucks that we r not friends.

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    • wow great advice. thanks. but i will do all that. i just m thinking of meeting him. face to face talk it out as adults n not act like kids oh im not talking to u bc ur mean. i think we act like that because of fear

    • Never Want a man who rejected you.. it's to soon to meet up with him... u need time to heel and be brave to look him in the eye with no tears in them and say straight to him look you hurt me and I've moved on.. I don't think uoull ever do that though.. ur to nice and u will do better and find a better match for u.. it's the good thing about being dumped.. Right now ur to vulnerable and if he was to meet u he'd only take advantage of u and go back to ignoring u... he broke ur heart and u will always feel that pang.. but it does fade in time and does get easier.. improve urself and keep all options open don't jump into a relationship at the moment though.. just heal for how long it takes.. but try the writing therapy a million letters never to be sent it helped me a lot for weeks I scribbled down until I just stopped one day

  • Maybe, maybe not. There's a chance he could BUT mostly, for your own sanity, you have to treat it like he wouldn't come back and as if there's no chance. Otherwise you'll be too hung up on him to ever move on and find someone else. You need to give it more time. One month compares to 20 months together is not that much.

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    • true. but how could he all of a sudden say that. i mean we talked about marriage. he said he likes me. we r great team. and then total reverse?

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    • I just said why it's almost 98% fail to try to be friends with ex's. There is valid reasons behind it. Obviously most people want to be friends with ex's but those people more than often can't and end up more hurt. Any break up or healing guide will tell you to move by not staying friends with a ex. It's a lose lose situation.

      NC is no contact.

    • oh thank u for explaning. i agree. i got to heal. i just want to b friends. not necessary hang out. just b friends. when im. ovet him. then mayb coffee

  • Its possible, but I wouldn't hold onto that hope. Let him go. Even if he came back you'd feel such instability and emotional insecurity, because at the back of your mind you'd always wonder if or when he was gonna walk out on you again.

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    • i dunno to me... it seems he is confused. because we did talk about marriage. kids. buying a home together. unless it was all talk? or he just said it to explore his options n will realize there is no better than me. but it sucks that we r not friends.

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    • You're welcome 🌹

    • :) all smile.

  • I'm thinking no. He doesn't consider you as a potential wife, someone he sees himself with later on down the road. I think it's best to stop waiting for him to com back, move on your life and find a man who will see you in that sort of light. If he wanted to continue the relationship, he wouldn't have left in my opinion

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    • i thought he left BC he was scared of marriage. He did tell me he was a bit nervous about it though one day he wants too. He does change his mind a lot. i just want friendship and hope that when i meet him and talk things out as mature adults.

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    • Guys do.. when they are into the girl as well. I don't recommend dating while still hung up on your ex, you just need time to yourself. You can't give your heart to someone when it's still be held by your ex. I was a mess when a ex of mine broke up with me in high school, I cried a lot and didn't eat much either. I didn't even care about my appearance and I always use to fix my hair and makeup. But I assure you it gets better to deal with over time.

    • If you need to just cry.. cry until you can't cry any more.. it will release all the hurt your holding in.. makes you feel some what better.

  • Put out a bowl of dog food

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    • i get what u r saying n i agree but today when hanging with friends or doing anything.. i dunno just missed him... or miss the fun we would have by talking. it seemed weird. he does not want to b friend bc well i angrily said screw the friendship. i was angry but called n apologized.. shouldn't have been mean. i texted but now no response.. thinking when ge teaches next at his work i may go see him. n have a proper face to face conversation.

    • Sounds more to me like you need closure more then anything... but hide the crazy because the crazy always gets ya in trouble lmao... but id smear dog food all over his car and write WIFEY on it lol

  • No, he probably won't change his mind. He probably have thought about this for a while before saying this to you. I would just move on.

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    • seems like it. as he blocked me.

    • Yeah. Sorry, but it's really over. Stay strong :)

    • i dunno to me... it seems he is confused. because we did talk about marriage. kids. buying a home together. unless it was all talk? or he just said it to explore his options n will realize there is no better than me. but it sucks that we r not friends.

  • Highly unlikely, but you guys may make contact some day. Why did he say you weren't wife material?

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    • he said he just didn't feel im. his wife material. mayb because i said he stood me up n it seemed he was taking things lightly. i did initiate contact but blocked me and won't answer my calls?

    • He's being an asswipe. Just ignore him. He doesn't sound like someone who respects you unless you did something to piss him off, and now he just wants nothing to do with you. Don't go chasing any man. Leave him be, and find someone better.

    • i dunno to me... it seems he is confused. because we did talk about marriage. kids. buying a home together. unless it was all talk? or he just said it to explore his options n will realize there is no better than me. but it sucks that we r not friends.

  • No, Look at the reality.
    He's not going to return, don't let it to ruin you.

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  • No - forget him as after a month he probably forgot about you.

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    • i dunno to me... it seems he is confused. because we did talk about marriage. kids. buying a home together. unless it was all talk? or he just said it to explore his options n will realize there is no better than me. but it sucks that we r not friends.

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    • Lesson 3- When women look at guys they see future boy friends - lovers - husbands. When men look at women they see walking sex toys.

    • well he d8d say i knew what he liked n appreciated it.. so why lv...

  • No because he thought it out we came to the conclusion that you are not white material. Let it go

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    • its hard to let it go. esp when u have been through so much with a person.

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