Past relationship actions?

I cry and grieve a relationship before it is over because I know it will end. I've been in 3 relationships. One after the other guys cheated on me, so I was very suspicious for the others. So I would start the break up process before it officially happened. My friends think that it is so I can move on quicker to another relationship. Is it odd or weird that I do this. Why do you think I do this?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I know it seems unfair and is hurtful when you experience something so against your beleifs and values. But like Rasmus said: this will prevent you from being happy in any relationship.

    Right now, you may not be able to really hear this but it really is okay to cheat. Not that you have to do it, nor that you have to do it, but to jusge someone for anything is not a good path.

    If you focus on any unwanted behavior in another, you will get more like that. This is why your men keep doing it: you're looking for it without meaning to, so this is what you experience.

    You must start focusing on the good things your men do, and what you want in your next relationship. Do NOT focus on what you do NOT want.

    Focus on the excitement and the delicious feeling of wanting someone and of being wanted. Focus on YOU not on them.

    These men cheating is really a gift to you: they are teaching you to focus on your own mind. It won't take a lot of thought for you to realize the big "secret": you can control your mind... and you control nothing else. So spend the most time guiding your mind and training it. The other path: evaluating and trying to control others... as you have seen it doesn't work, ever. It never has for any of us and I have tried :-)

    I hope this gives you a bit of perspective. Best of luck.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's not odd at all. It's understandable when you've been cheated on in the past. Betrayal is one of the most painful experiences to go through. It's difficult to trust again after a betrayal , so it seems you brace yourself for the worst. You're preparing for the end even at the beginning. The problem is your actions will prevent you ever being in a happy long-. term relationship.

    When you meet someone new you have to judge that person based on their own character. It's unfair to judge another guy by your exes behaviour. By distrusting men you meet is like punishing yourself and him for your exes infidelity. Your ex has too much control over your future happiness. So take that control back, and refuse to allow their wrongdoing to prevent you trusting other guys. It's not easy to do , but achievable if you change your mindset and outlook

    The only way to find happiness in a relationship is to trust until THEY give you a reason not to trust them.

    Live in this moment and time. Don't focus on what "might "happen or what "if's" . The strongest of people are those who've been betrayed and hurt in love , but yet they still believe in love. So work on becoming emotionally stronger.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • You do it because it is a natural learned behavior. It's a learned defense mechanism. That makes love tough because love is based on trust.

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  • You're guarding your heart. You need to stop this because otherwise you'll never be satisfied in any relationship.

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What Girls Said 1

  • have your worth , choose your men wisely and be selective. its good that you are doing the breakup early because you don't want yourself to get hurt. but honestly always remember " once a cheater is always a cheater"
    but remember please you are beautiful. cheaters are just not healthy people in general.

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