I don't love him but he won't let me leave?

He's the father of my 2 kids and been with him for years and he's never treated the kids or me right. He ignores the kids so it's me doing everything with them, doesn't support us and basically I feel like a single mum but with him hanging about taking the piss. I feel so angry at him for what he's done to me in the past and the only reason why I'm still with him is because for over a decade he's blackmailed me into staying with threats of killing himself or telling my family things about me. He used to hit me but hasn't done in a while as I've become a weak willed person. I can't stomach him touching me he makes my skin crawl so I avoid him as best as I can. He cheated on me and says he loves me and if I don't say I love you back he will pressure me until I do. I have no friends at all simply because I am not allowed any. I did have a friend I asked to go out with her one night and he screamed in my face no. Eventually my mum got involved and told him to let me out for the night and all night he phoned even getting my oldest daughter involved begging me to come home, I gave up and came home at 11 at night.. which he kept me up all night questioning me. He has friends he sees all the time and goes out all night I say nothing. i stopped my friendship with the woman as it was causing me a headache and knew he didn't like me going out that was 3 years ago now. I'm lonely and angry inside and suffer bad depression. I have nowhere to go to even if I did leave. Sometimes I feel like doing something bad that get me jailed to escape from him. I don't know what to do.. I know no one can help me though. What options are there for people like me that has nothing and nobody?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Find a job
    Move somewhere else
    Take kids with you as well
    And call those helplines maybe

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Most Helpful Girl

  • The only option is to walk in doing so, with every step you will gain confidence and independence. You are already doing it on your own and you'll be surprised how much easier life is without a manchild hanging off your neck like lead balloon (my ex was the same).

    You can register your kids and yourself on the local housing list or look for a private rented home ring the police if he bothers you when you move and join some groups for single mums. Also you'll be suprised how many people will support you because you've grown a backbone and done what you should of done years ago and left him.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Call the damn cops.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Contact a domestic violence hotline who can assist you on the step by step procedure on how to handle a spouse who may not necessarily be physically violent but verbally and mentally as well. This kind of environment is not healthy for your children. Ask for professional help asap.

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  • Keep records of abuse doll. Sorry to hear ;( sounds tough af. Try to become self dependent maybe do crafting at home you can sell and start making your own money off of from home.

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  • You might have to start certain parts of your life all over again just to get rid of this man. Are any of your family able to help? Do you work?

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