My ex was mentally and emotionally abusive and really controlling. He tells me all the time how stupid I am when I ask him questions. He'd tell me I am annoying when I do pretty much anything. On my bday he took the day off work without informing me and expected me to just hang out with him all day when I told him I had to visit my dad mom and sister before I could hang with him and he got mad at me for it (I know I shouldn't feel guilty for it but I do). When I would spend the night at his house I would wake up to him trying to kiss me or being all touchy. When I would spend time with him 99% of the time he'd be on fb or playing videogames. He'd never give me attention. I know he isn't worth it I know I deserve better but I don't want better. I still want him so badly. Why am I so in love with him? I'm under his spell.
Why do I do this?
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