What do you think about people who forgive a cheater?

Lets say theyre married and are now "stronger". I dunno, how can people be stronger after something like that? To me the cheater has got away with it, but its the faithful person who has lost their self-respect?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Being married is a lot different than just dating. There is so much more at play.. kids, mortgage, union of two families and friends. If the guy was a serial cheater, I would have no respect for the girl. And that's really her issue, not anyone else's. Sometimes it is a matter of not paying attention to your spouse's need. Most of the time, women settle for the crumbs of life called emotional love. "Do you love her?" When a guy says No, women eat that up. I have respect for only one man. He realized that after years of counseling and 2 kids, he looked back and realized that in his 8 year marriage sex, passion, and affection was gone. He loves her. He built a house for her and the children. But he was not happy and realized that passion was something that was no longer there and decided to get a divorce. He didn't even have another girl lined up. He knew what was important to him. With that, I would never permit a man to cheat on me and feed me that love BS. Based on my cheated girlfriends, it is never "stronger." They all suffer inside every day.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • A short story. My current girlfriend cheated with her ex before we met but honestly she got really drunk and tbh I think he took blatant advantage of her. I think she could have made wiser decisions and she would agree with that too. However, I'm more than understanding of the fact that bad decision making can result from either lack of empathy or poor moral coding. It was the latter she was lacking but she had grown up in a bubble so it wasn't really her fault. Point is when we met it was clear she had a real desire to change and a deep remorse for having cheated on her ex. So we've never had problems and no I do not view this as humiliating on my part. She does know that I would not accept her back if she cheated on me though, I have made that clear. She knows I will never cheat on her. People can change but only if they really want to.

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What Girls Said 6

  • I've done it before, never again. They only "change" temporarily

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  • That they are insane and they're only letting that cheater it's essentially "okay" to cheat on them.

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  • Not always the case. Sometimes forgiving is okay. It's acceptable when the cheater realizes his/her faults and when they are actually remorseful and wanting to change. However, when you have someone who has a history of cheating, then you know what to expect- he will never change.

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  • I don't think I could ever forgive a cheater, I feel as though people who do are more likely to be in a poisonous relationship.

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  • never

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  • There are suckers born everyday.

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What Guys Said 7

  • I would find it so hard to forgive a cheater - We would have to have something special to make it work again

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  • I think these people don't think of themselves highly enough.

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  • It takes a lot of strength to forgive a cheater and move past that. If the cheater shows no signs of guilt, then I would lose respect for whomever forgives.

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  • Because sometimes cheating really was an accident you have to learn to sift through the bullshit and find the real reasoning behind it and sometimes you never find the actual reason but while working through it a lot of other unsaid stuff comes out and that stuff gets fixed leaving a better foundation behind

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  • I think they're a dumbass, but whatever fucks their goat

    I'll only lose respect for the forgiver if they try to defend the cheater's actions

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  • Nothing wrong with forgiveness

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  • I don't respect people who forgive cheaters.

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    • whys that?

    • They don't respect themselves.

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