How do you move on without closure?

I wish I had the answers but I don't, she's the only one who knows but I will never get that information from her :(


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well most people can't get closure as you'll never be able to know what goes on in their head and people will always sugar coat the truth when they break up with someone. The best and only closure you need is the way they treated you. If they were willing to leave you despite knowing you and all your good qualities, the closure you need is right in front of you. They weren't meant for you :)

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    • Thanks,

      But I am feeling like I was not good enough for her... She was this perfect amazing girl with so many great qualities... I just wasn't good enough for her, I don't have any good qualities I guess. Otherwise I would be holding her in my arms :'(

    • Do you know how many people get dumped on this planet? By your logic then, all dumped people are then not "good enough" for someone, and that is simply not true. Brilliant, amazing people even get dumped. Almost anyone for that matter has been dumped at some point and if not, maybe rejected. It's a humanly thing to experience and doesn't take away from you. You are good enough. There is just something wrong with feelings and chemistry, and that is something neither you or she can help with.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Closure is overrated; you don't need it. I used to ask why she ended it, but I came to the conclusion that it doesn't matter why, and it's not my job to know why. All I know is that she doesn't want to be with me; it's her loss, so now I can move on to women who are interested in me.

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    • Spot on... You rarely if ever see the person that initiates the split looking for closure.. Usually people seeking closure are looking to get their foot in the door anyway. Start talking about all the wonderful times they shared, then blast them with the negative times if they are not getting romantic feelings reciprocated.

    • Yeah, but it just eats me up that I will never know why or what happened. Maybe I still have a chance?

    • Sometimes, there are no answers. For whatever reason she has in her heart/mind, it is done.. I would respect that and move on. If she has doubts inside over her choice, she will come back. But you begging will not give her the time, space, comfort or freedom to explore those ideas internally.

What Girls Said 2

  • One step at a time and one breath at a time. Focus on the things you love to do. Even go out and try something you always wanted to do. Just keep moving and working on you. I agree that closure is overrated. Bottom line is she is not the right one for you and the right one is out there waiting for you.

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  • You continue with life and occupy your time with things that matter.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I can empathize with OP on this. My last relationship ended without closure. I still feel like she'd hold me responsible for her depression worsening if I'd block her on Facebook. At least she's not pursuing me on other social media. Once she returns to her birthtown in the Pacific Northwest, makes a baby and posts pics of the child on Facebook, I'll block her. She has HUNDREDS of Facebook friends. I don't know why she still needs me. I just remember I unfriended her for 3 months and then I messaged her because our mutual friends and program staff kept asking about her. Her response ended "Also, I'm wondering why you removed me as your friend on here after promising me you wouldn't :cry:" The fact she put a crying face probably means she's still attached to me even though I spelt out all the reasons I was dumping her in an email. I refrained from insults and carefully reread the email before I sent it.

    Today marks a full year since my first-time-ever of making love to anyone. I hope before another full year goes by I get into another relationship and said relationship matures to the point of lovemaking.

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