Broke up because of depression?

We dated for 4 months and have been talking marriage and started getting ready for it. Everything was great between us. Until we got in a long distance relationship because of school for me, and work for him - he will be back next January. We talked everyday, but I could feel something was wrong. He had depression and fell back. He didn't say he wanted to break up, but to be alone to heal. I was crazy upset... He still wants to talk to me, says he needs me, and we still have our daily calls. He also said that I'm not loosing him, that he just needs time for himself right now. I guess we are on a "break", or have set the label aside in some way. I doubt he stopped loving me (you can't throw 4 months of relationship outside the window in just 2 weeks), but I think he is overwhelmed by his depression and it is altering his thinking (a friend with depression confirmed me that). I told him that I would support him and be there for him until he heals from this.
I am confused and hurting because he didn't say "break up" or anything so besides "I need time alone", but I remain hopeful that we can get back together officially in the near future. Our relationship hasn't changed a bit, besides not saying "I love you" anymore. Since our discussion, we started calling each other again everyday and I can hear in his voice that he is doing so much better. I think he is probably feeling alone and sad because we have been away from each other for 3 months now...
Can you guys give me your insight on this?


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What Guys Said 2

  • Something doesn't sound right... Like he did something that he can't honestly come to the table with.

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  • He is probably feline alone and sad. You shoukd. maybe visit him if you could. It just sounds like his depression is getting in the way of your relationship.

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    • He is 3 states away and I can't really afford that... I am thinking about it, but I'm afraid he would not feel at ease if I asked him that. I perfectly know that the depression is the issue. Like I said, we were so happy together and suddenly, he starts sounding sad and angry most of the time, so it can only be because of this and I am sure the distance is doing this to him. He literally is alone. He is on an internship and works on electric spots in the middle of nowhere in New Mexico and Texas. That breaks my heart, but I can't do much about it.. Our mutual friends keep telling me that they have never seen him so happy since he was with me, and that he truly loves me and would never leave me (even his mom, haha). Then I see what situation we are in (even though it could be worse), and it's hard to believe all they say and trust that unexplainable hope I feel for us.

    • I think this is just a bump in the road for your relationship. I woukdnt take it as a breaj up honestly. He just doesn't want to drag you through this is what he's saying. You need to tell him that your not leaving him whether he likes it or not. I think you shoukd take control of that.
      Definitely if you can go visit do so. he's just in a shitty place right now. He has no one. Look at buses if you can't afford a plane ticket.

    • That's what I told him: I wouldn't give up on him. I said I would support him and cheer him up. It is getting hard, but it is not impossible. If he was just a fling, I would have probably given up a long time ago. But he is not. I just lose hope sometimes, but I still don't give up.
      I'm going to look up bus tickets or others.
      Thank you for listening to me and helping me clear my thoughts. I really appreciate!

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