He needs some time away to find himself?

Me and him have been together for 3 months and recently he's been having massive anxiety issues that have kept him at home. It's been going on for about a month and I have honestly felt the strain. A couple days ago he told me that he doesn't want to drag me through the anxiety anymore and he wants some space and time to find himself again and get back to normal where he doesn't get an anxiety attack everytime he leaves home. He said he knows that it will mess us up if we stay together while he's sick. The past month it's gotten to the point where he barely responds or shows emotion. After we broke up, he hasn't responded at all.

I'm just heartbroken and don't know what to think or how to move forward. My sister read the messages and said that he isn't wanting to cut off all connection with me. He made sure to tell me "Please don't think I never want to talk to or see you again" and "this isn't any easier for me".


I'm just so confused and don't know what to think. I still love and care for him and am lost now. Will he come back? It seemed like he really did like me back but now I don't know


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You are very young and you don't have years already invested in this guy. He is not the only guy who could ever be interested in you, so you should ask yourself: am I willing to live with this for the rest of my life?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • For someone with GA I get what he's going through. I often power down and cut people off when I am having severe anxiety issues as well, essentially isolating myself. It decreases the pressure of having to worry and tend to the emotions and needs of others when you feel you can't balance your own, and frees you from judgment and responsibility. However...

    When it comes to your partner, that needs to be a bit of a different story. I don't think he should have broke up with you. I feel if he needed distance, that's one thing, but severing ties with you is not necessary and not the best way to approach the situation. Eventually, you have to learn to let people in.

    Just reach out, let him know that you're there. Then wait. There is little else that can be done.

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What Guys Said 4

  • He's full of shit and you're sister is partially right. The truth is he's wanted out of the relationship and is using this bullshit excuse instead of being a man and saying he doesn't want in the relationship anymore. He's a pussy not a man. He's left the door open like your sister said but not for reconciliation but so he can use you as a backup plan till he finds someone else. You don't want him back. This is a permanent and complete breakup so get over it and him and get on with your life

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    • do you usually have your head that far up your ass that you cannot even realize that there may be a SLIGHT chance that he actually has an anxiety problem?

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    • you are 54, acting like a 20 year old. use your old, calcified brain for a minute and think. Some people actually have issues. not everyone is just making an excuse so they can out of relationships. you lack common sense

    • @Bobbyhill1 you're in denial and an enabler

  • Anxiety can really wreack a havoc in someones life. !! It's scary... he has to go to a therapist for that and hetvit treated out...
    And he hasn't broken up with you... Just taking a small break

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  • I don't have anxiety, but I do know in order to "find yourself", a person has to detach from what other people think they are.

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  • https://youtu.be/HC4Og450qcQ after watch this on youtube I "had to go and find myself" too

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What Girls Said 11

  • So, over the last month of your relationship his anxiety became so bad that he barely left home?
    Due to his anxiety he has emotionally checked out and now no longer responds?
    When did you really notice this anxiety take hold?
    How do you know that he's barely left home due to his anxiety?
    He announced that he needs time and space to find himself again but where does that fit in with his anxiety?
    Something does not add up here.

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  • Listen. Nobody needs to find themselves. Their right there in from of you. What it is, is that they can't handle the relationship and the people in it. Its cowardly, anxiety and all. Its him being a coward. If this anxiety is such a big problem, then WHY was he with you in the first place. I don't believe he will come back. Only when he is a changed person can he comeback to be with you. At the state he's in, he can't. Either with you or without you. He has to want to change for himself.

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    • ''Nobody needs to find themselves.''

      do you know how stupid that sounds? besides that insane quote you really have no knowledge of what anxiety is if you think people have it all the time. he may not have had it those 3 months when he was with. have some times I feel like I can do anything then I go into this state where I just feel worthless, it happens and it is a real thing. a lot of people can't cope and actually die from that.. he also maybe taking medication

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    • Thank You Bobbyhill1. Why yes he was with me because he wasn't anxious at the time and had a panic attack that caused a relapse about a month ago. And it comes and goes just like my depressive episodes do. Both of us are understanding of each other and our problems.

    • I know how it is because I go through those fazes too, I really lacked the energy to try and go against her because I didn't know where to start. SHe was wrong in any way possible.

  • Ok so there are 2 possibilities here, 1. He is telling the truth and 2. He is lying about it. If you are dealing with the 1st possibility, then whatever his situation may be, if he asked for space, that is what he should get. Also do it for you, not just for him - because you deserve somebody who does not push you away, so it is your right to move on and that is, in my opinion, what you should do. Be happy and free.
    If he is lying... don't even think twice, dump his sorry ass and go party! Good riddance, mental conditions are not to be used as excuses or lied about. :)

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  • As someone who has battled with anxiety I understand where he is coming from. He just needs some time to work on him before he can be a partner to you. Don't worry to much about this just let him know your there to support him through whatever he is comfortable sharing with you.

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  • I get being concerned about him and all, but give him time. When he is ready he'll contact you. Leave him alone for 3 or 4 weeks, if he still hasn't contacted you, and you're still interested then reach out and ask how he's doing, if he responds good if not well then it's over. In the mean time, do whatever else you want.

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  • most breakups happen on predictable timelines. Three months. Two years. Five years. They're transition points.

    He might be honest about having GA. But he isn't honest about wanting to see or speak to you again. The relationship is over, so you'll have to move on, unfortunately.

    Sorry it turned out that way :(

    But there's plenty of other men :)

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  • He said he needs space so why are you bothering him? Leave him alone, geez.

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  • 3 months? Try being in the same situation and everything just suddenly gone after a year and a half. You're future and dreams, your everything. You'll be fine.

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  • just give him time

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  • I know this sounds heartless but I think he's using the anxiety or whatever as a reason to break up with you

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  • What a cunt 😡

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