How do I get over him, my first heartbreak?

Everything was going so well, I fell in love. He said he loved me and we were both really happy. Then one day out of the blue he broke up with me because he 'doesn't want to hurt me'. He said my kind of love is definite and unconditional and it's for someone who is able to match it

I was devastated. I didn't see this coming. He would always talk about our future and I never initiated any of this talk, it was always him. I was so confused and lost after the break, I contacted him to say I wanted to remain friends because I'd rather have him in my life as a friend than not have him in my life at all. (Now that I think about it, I probably only said that because I'm hoping we'd get back together in the future). He then told me he's been feeling confused and lost all this time since the break up and had a lot of time to over think things. He's a very indecisive person if that matters, one time he broke up with me but didn't realise what he's lost until after he has lost it (his words). This time he said I deserve better and that he's not worthy of me and he doesn't know why he ever tried convincing himself he was.

I'm so confused by all of this. Feels like I want breathe and my heart has been ripped out of my chest and squeezed. I can literally feel the pain. How do I overcome this? I can't eat, I can't sleep, everything reminds me of him. I just want to sit at home and think about him all day but that's not healthy. Usually, after a breakup I go on lots of dates and it seems to help. But now I realise it's because I as never truly in love with them

Help me please! it's gotten to the point where I look forward to going to sleep at night because that's the only time it doesn't hurt anymore :( I'm losing my mind


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What Guys Said 1

  • You just have to know love is two sided. If the boy doesn't want to love you , then you have no choice but to accept his decision. Everyone has a right to love someone of his one choice. Sometimes we take wrong decisions and fall in love. But when you realize the that you can no longer exist for each other , the bond needs to be broken. You may be emotionally upset. Get over it quickly and be ready to love again after some months. Such emotions usually last for about 3 months.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Let me help you if I can. I have faced this at an age many years older! You can't make someone have feelings that they really don't have... however, you can love someone and still walk away, stay strong, and remember the good memories. Don't try to force something if it is not there. If you walk away, ( and letting go is sometimes the hardest thing) but if you walk away and have no contact, he may just come storming back to you, and realize that he does want a relationship like you do. If not, know that time does mend the heart, it takes tiime, you will feel a little obsessed for awhile, like that is all you want to think about. You might not eat or sleep, but you will make it through and it will get easier day by day if you don't stay together... Keep busy, stay busy and focus on something that you like to do in your spare time... this happened to me in march...5 years, he walked away, it sucks, I didn't get an answer, or conversation, all I got was hurt! Best of Luck

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  • You're allowed to be upset. Just don't let it get too obsessive or dominant. You just have to tough through it. Keep busy so you don't think about it as much. Put away things that remind you of him and give yourself time to cope with it. Always remember his actions aren't your fault. Don't let it consume you.

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