Ever had a long term ex you just can't get over?

I know GAG is full of sorry sob stories about break ups. I've had a few of my own, but the one that hurt the most was the girl who I considered marrying 2.5 years ago. I never told her that, but for a long time she was deeply in love me and I know she would have said yes if I popped the question. Unfortunately I was also going through a tough time in my professional life at the time. I hold myself to a very high bar, but my job situation impacted my confidence and I started taking my frustrations out on her. It was no surprise when she broke it off.

Fast forward 2.5 years. I have more than doubled my salary, have an awesome job, have a new girlfriend (prettier) and just bought my first home. My new girlfriend is very young and I only see her 2-3 weeks out of every 2 months due to my work schedule. She is still in college and very studious (pre med). The time apart keeps things fresh, but its not too long to cause problems. However to be realistic I doubt we will get serious anytime soon. Given our age differences (cultural difference as well... she's a immigrant) we really don't have deep conversations. Everything is about teasing, fun and sex. It's light hearted, drama free and easy.

The problem with me ex wasn't the fact she split it off, it was HOW she did it. For the longest time she was like a best friend. Then she treated me like pond scum and showed zero consideration after I discovered I had serious health issue (gotten better since then). I talked to her on the phone about 8 months ago, but it was like talking to a robot. I don't want to get back with her, I just want closure. However I doubt I will ever get it.

Anyway I want to be fair to my new girlfriend (she has no idea about this... and I have no plans to tell her) and myself. I was doing very well for a while. However after I bought my first home memories of my ex slammed into me out of nowhere. I have become the man I wanted to be 2.5 years ago. However she's not there to see it.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Yea and I think we all have. I remembered when I dated this guy for like 2 years or so, and it was honestly love at first sight for me. I don't usually believe in those things, but I do remember how he made feel on sight. We were really young though, but I felt the love and chemistry we had going on. We did everything for each other and together all of the time. We were so inseparable that he became apart of me. We were literally so perfect for each other I couldn't even imagine being with anyone else. Anywho, we had one big issue that ruined our whole entire relationship and it was something he couldn't get over at the time. I didn't do anything to hurt him, but something in my past did bother him a lot & I remember us arguing about it every single day. Long story short, we ended things, & it was very heartbreaking for both him & I. Things got hectic & we ended off on a bad note & never spoken since. 4 years later I finally started going out w/ someone else & he and my ex are totally different people. I love and care for my boyfriend. He is now the father of my child. But sometimes I wish my ex & I could still be at least somewhat aquantinces or I wish I had some closure. But it is what it is. & I probably wouldn't have said this 5 years ago, but I'm glad things turned out the way that it did. You become more stronger and wiser you know?

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    • My new girlfriend is your age, lol.

      Yeah I know about the closure deal. I confess I reach out to my ex once very couple months. She usually says nothing, but sometimes gives me a short response. She shocked me when said she it was plenty fine for me to call her a few months ago. However she was an disappointing ice princess on the call. It was like talking to a machine. HOWEVER that call brought back memories of her I didn't like. Twisted logic but actually talking to/seeing her reminds me of her faults and quirks. It makes it easier for me to NOT think of her afterwards. The illusion of her is what is torturing me. And the illusion grows strong when I don't talk to her.

      The way I look at it is that no contact rule (which I practiced for a year) did diddly squat about this.

      Anyway congrats on your new relationship and the new (or coming) baby.

What Guys Said 1

  • YES I have had one

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