I messed up BAD. How do I fix myself with this one?

My girlfriend for 3 years already had a little trust issues with me. We finally made up and got back after a month break up. Everything was going amazing. When we first started dating she caught me talking to girls a lot which kinda ruined trust.

just yesterday she snooped through my phone and saw a conversation which was flirty with another girl. She broke down and now we're broken up. I feel like now I completely ruined it. I've reached the point where I dug myself too deep.

How can I fix myself. She's given me many chances. I'm bringing her flowers today, I want to write a note too. What should I say? What should I do. I know it was wrong of me to text this other girl, I wouldn't do anything with her. I want my girl back


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Leave her alone and just let it go. You cannot fix this mistake. The problem has to do with you. She took you back once and you did it again. Do you really think she is going to be happy knowing your bringing her flowers? She will just view it as a copout because your desperate. And desperate is not attractive. You need to change. And you have to do if for yourself, not because of her. Because if you do this to another girl, what do you think the answer is going be? The same thing. You need to stop getting girls numbers, and flirting with them. I don't blame her at all. This should be a learning lesson for you. Some girls don't mind playing games, and then you will come across girls like her and me who won't tolerate it even the first time. You played with fire and you got burned. Writing her a note with flowers will not get her back. I'm telling you now. You literally screwed it up. She's looking to move on. And I suggest that you do too. Again, you need to learn this serious mistake.

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    • I messed up. I didn't cheat on her. This girl texted me and flirted. I got flirty back. I had no intentions to be with her. I am truly sorry. I love this girl to death. I never got her flowers before so this can be a good surprise. I want our trust. I was building it up and then this happened. Please what can I do. I don't care if I seem desperate. She's hurt too

    • Show All
    • We're both young she's 18. I'm 20. If that makes a difference. But damn. I'm returning her stuff and leaving the flowers at her door. Then never talking to her again. She was my girl. My everything. I never ever talk to other girls. This girl texted me the day before she snooped. What a bad coincidence. I messed up

    • @Proxtheno

      You may be 20 but what does that have to do with what you did? You can't use age as an excuse. If somebody treated me the way you did, I would have done the exact same way she did. I don't play games. And I expect the people I associate with don't do the same.

Most Helpful Guy

  • First, you need to recognize that this isn't completely your fault. True, shouldn't be flirting with girls over text, but in the end, it's all speculation. I myself have several friends who are girls and if my fiancee freaked out every time I sent a winky face to one of them, we would never survive. So the question I have to ask you is why do you want to get back with your girl so badly when it's clear you both have several issues to work out? Her trust issues, though you have a slight hand in, are not responsible for her feelings. She doesn't have the right to keep you locked into a cage only talking to boys. With that said, you know she doesn't like you talking to girls, so if you really want to get back together with her, you need to stop talking to other girls all together. This is impossible since half the world is girls and you can't escape that. So my advice to you is to talk to her, really talk to her. Apologize, of course, but you need to be clear that you talking to other girls is a thing. You can promise not to be so flirty with them, but then there's the other issue of her snooping though your phone. I have a serious problem with girls thinking they have the right to do this. Being real will not only set a good boundary with her, but also give you a chance at a real relationship rather than her controlling you in everything.

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What Girls Said 5

  • It sounds like you can't help yourself with ladies... if you truly want one person, stop all the BS with the others... there is nothing wrong with having girls as friends, but flirting and crossing lines is disturbing for young women who want a relationship. Tell her you will be an open book from now on, she can see your phone, you won't flirt, she is everything to you... you have to be transparent now... trust is a bitch once you break it, very hard, but you can earn it back if the person is willing, but number one, you have to be willing to STOP! Best of Luck

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  • You ain't worth it and I hope she realises how sneaky and cuntish you are and just moves on from you.

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  • first off if you want her so bad you need to completely stop the behavior that is causing the issue. I am going through something similar and trust is hard to gain back. and you constantly saying sorry is going to make her see that its bull and the worst case scenario is her leaving. I suggest you sit her down and have a real heart to heart. let her know you were wrong and you love her. if she gives you another chance than show her all the time she is the one you want and never put her in that position again to be hurt. these side females are not worth losing a companion over negate just imagine another man stepping in your place.

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  • Why don't you let her move on and find someone who treats her better

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  • Well it's a bit late. You can't keep doing it and expecting it to be fine. Why would you do it again after the first time?
    It's all well saying ' I wouldn't do anything with her' but how'd she know that...
    all you can do is apologise and back off. No trying to justify your behavior will make it better. Maybe space will let her forgive you. Or make her decide to cut it off. But it's her choice as you made yours.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Let her go. If you really cared you wouldn't be flirty with other girls. My wife has full access to my phone, text logs, social media, etc. because I have nothing to hide.

    At this point if you really feel bad, apologize, bid her farewell, and move on. Clearly something about the relationship isn't satisfying you, which is why you roam.

    You need to be good with being monogamous in your own heart before you commit to something that is going to make you manifestly unhappy.

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