Why is my ex saying this now?

So I got a call from my ex of 10 months. We have a daughter together, and he was never really there for her since our break up. We had a big fight back in April and he never came around or called since then. I just left him alone. Then last week I got a call from the child support place and they wanted his information on where he lives and place of employment. I texted him telling him about that and he was ok with it. He wanted to come by since he doesn't live in town anymore or he wanted me to take the papers to him. I agreed to take the papers to him and I just wanted to put all the bs aside for our daughter's sake. Then today I sent him some pics of our daughter, and he textsd me saying he was going to come by and visit then he called. We were talking and then out of nowhere he said he's having a hard time and he doesn't like the place he's at. He has a girlfriend who he got pregnant after just a couple of months of dating. He apologized for everything he ever did to me and he kept saying I wish I was closer or how he wish he was still in town to visit our daughter. He kept mentioning how he doesn't like the way his life turned out. I just told him that it was his business and not mine and that he just needs to be there for our daughter now. He then said when we go over to see him that he wanted to go shopping and then go take us to eat at a nice place. So I'm just wondering what that's all about? He never mentioned his girlfriend or that he's having another kid. He just kept saying how he doesn't like it there.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It’s nice tht you have a child and you sound pretty centered and balanced about yourself and even fairly good about your relationship to your ex. Of course, you’re here asking about this latest overture so there is some doubt present. I’d like to suggest a few tihngs to think about.

    First, consider that love is the only force in the universe. When you lok at your daughter, that feeling you get, that’s what I mean. Also, you used to have this feeling about your ex and in a way, it’s still there. Not that you’re in love with him but since you’re able to conjure up, remember, and feel what you used to feel, the relationship, like all relationships, is eternal.

    I also notice a slight bitterness towards him when you say “he was not there” for your child. This sentiment will keep you from a happy relationship with him, and also with your daughter. First thing about this is that you can give your daughter her dad fully, if you only sway good things about him. The other thing is that he never signed papers saying he has to be any particular way. Just like you never did and what a good thing we don’t have to.

    He obviously needed a break and you just gave it to him which was a good action. I also imagine you might have been quite happy to have a break from him, I just get that feeling. So now, he’s ready to move forward and I invite you to embrace that 100%. He is obviously troubled and doesn’t know where to look for help and he remembers you as someone he is very close to.

    See how it feels to be with him. Your only concern should be yourself, as you’re trying to steady yourself and your positive vibration about your life, your kid, and your ex as well. If he is too distraught, you may not want to be with him a lot. But if it feels fine to do so, then go ahead.

    My point is, learn to listen to your inner voice, your gut, and allow yourself to be gently guided by your spirit. Do not let anybody interfere with this.

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What Guys Said 1

  • it sounds like a set up i would be cautious if i was you, my sister's husbands ex wife has pulled a few underhanded trick to keep him from see his daughter with some of the things she pulled and he never saw her again till she was like 16. and the guy who her mom was seeing messed with the kid.

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