How to break up with someone who's not expecting it?

I've been with my boyfriend for 4 months and over the past couple of weeks things haven't felt the same.

I'm breaking up with him because he has mental health issues and it's quite hard for me to support him all the time especially because he refuses to get help for them. He puts me on a pedestal and I don't see a future with him, I'm just not happy in the relationship anymore. I plan to meet him and break up with him at a coffee shop near his house, I need advice from people who have been dumped unexpectedly and people who have done the dumping.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • have a freind with you when you dump him most people that have issues dont handle it well. so a freind being with you is a good idea.

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    • Yeah my friends coming with me but she's sitting at a different table aha thanks.

Most Helpful Girl

  • You've got some good advice here from others. I'm just opposed to you doing the breaking up at a coffee shop near his house. Too public i think. And he may not feel comfortable going there again. A park would be better. There will be people around but at a distance.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • If he puts you on a pedestal the best thing you can do for him is to hurt him. I've been there.

    What sort of mental health issues are you talking about?

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    • He has bipolar disorder and anxiety, he also has self esteem issues, and abandonment issues, I originally said I'd be willing to date him if he went and at least got therapy but he refuses to go.

    • Ok. Maybe don't hurt him. But you made it clear that you'd expect him to go to therapy and bipolar is a really hard thing to manage even when its being treated. I guess the approach to take is that while you'd love to be able to handle this stuff, not everyone can. And that you hope he can find someone who can.

What Girls Said 1

  • Tell him the truth about your reasons. Don't give him a line like it's not you it's me. The only way he can heal is with the truth.

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