Should I get a restraining order against my ex?

He has never threatened me with physical violence; but he has a terrible temper, and shouts obscene things at me. I work for a fast food company located 40 minute drive from where he lives, and even farther from his job. He swings my job weekly, claiming its the closest of this particular restaurant chain to his house- which is true. But there are a ton of restaurants where he lives. I made it clear I do not want to talk to him, see him, anymore. I changed my number so he would stop leaving me insulting voicemails. I blocked him on social media for same reason. No he is regular customer at my job, and although he does not talk to me, other than to get his food, my manager says this is a form of stalking? Why doesn't he go eat somewhere else? I have a new job, but I don't start until next year. I have been kind of hoping he would stop coming by; I mean we broke up last year. I just started dating a new person last week, and I am worried if new guy comes by my job when my ex randomly shows up, there could potentially be conflict? Am I being paranoid, or should I get a restraining order? Do I have grounds for that if he never threatened physical violence before?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Since he hasn't done anything physical or even verbal to you when he comes to your restaurant, there isn't much history to go by.

    I would recommend you talk to the police and ask what can be done. If nothing else a police report is on file. Let them know you purposely changed your phone number because of his abusive messages. It sounds like care and caution are necessary here.

    The restaurant is a public space and he's allowed to go there and order food like anyone else. As long as he doesn't do anything more than order food and leave, there isn't much to go on. Fear is your #1 enemy, not him. That doesn't mean you should ignore his actions. Be careful, use your head.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • What I am Most "Worried" about is when the doors close and you are left to Leave? And even if if still Open... You are still Open Prey for him when you do Leave your job.
    Yes, go to the Courts and Ask for this Restraint. It's Best to be Safe than sorry.
    Also tell your manager you would prefer if he would Not eat where you are Working.
    I have seen Way too Many cases on True Stories, which I Watch as much as the News, and this One, hun, is a Time Bomb just Waiting to Explode. Especially if He would See you with a New guy in Town.
    Good luck ans Be safe. xx

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Are you in the US? If so, in what state do you live? This subject area is governed by state law which varies from state to state. In my home state - Florida - stalking alone is grounds for an injunction.

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  • yes you should. he's not abusing you physically but he is verbally (phone messages) and is harassing you by showing up at your job

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  • A restraining order can ruin aspects of someone's life. For instance, here in NJ you can't get a gun permit if someone has one out on you. It can show up in background checks when applying for jobs and when people see restraining order, they don't assume it's because the person had a bad breakup, they assume it's because he already physically abused you once and it was really bad.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Yes, this is a form of harassment. Make sure you document the instances he comes in and harasses you over the phone.

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  • Yes and get it done before it gets worse sometimes it's starts off small like this but it can escalate really fast I speak from experience better safe than sorry

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  • yes get a restraining order. There are a lot of bad things that he could end up doing to u. U don't know what he is thinking. here is an example of what a guy did I knew. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UI5teFbIXXI WATCH THAT LINK IT SAYS A LOT

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  • If he's harassing you, by all means.

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