I miscarried. My boyfriend left and I'm tired of the pain I'm causing myself by waiting for him to come back. How can I move on with my life?

I'm so hurt by my boyfriend. Or my ex now. We got pregnant by surprise. I was a little more worried than he was. He was so happy. I don't Know if it was the hormones, but I was having mood swings left and right, Constantly. But he was there up until I had my 3 month appt that they said my precious little angels heart wasn't beating anymore. I felt forced into the termination or whatever word it is. I was so hurt. So hurt and mad. He left and stopped all communication. I'm so heartbroken. It felt like 2 people died and I'm not sure how to move on past this. I'm so angry with him that I convince myself that I should move on and find someone who will love me regardless. But then I think of my baby and I become so engulfed with grief that I wanna run back in his arms so he could hold me and tell me it's ok. But he won't. He refuses. I'm not sure how much longer I can't take this pain he's brought upon me. Should I wait since I know he's in pain? I know he still loves me. He's just mad. But I really don't understand why he's blaming me for this? I'm so lost and confused.

Updates:
We met at my job. All his coworkers go there to conduct business. I've asked a few and they were all nice and helped but he's so stubborn. I've tried multiple times to speak to him about this but he refuses. I'm at my tipping point or I feel like I'm just done.
I appreciate everyone's insight on this. I'm in so much pain. I've finally come to a point where I cannot keep playing these games. I will always miss my precious baby. I love him the most.

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What Guys Said 2

  • be sad all you want its part of the process of a loss. and i am sorry the guy left. and im sure how will come back once he gets his thoughts together. some guys just deny the pain and try to run from it. but that never works he will realize this eventually im sure

    and if he doesn't im sure there will be someone who can understand your pain and try and help you through it. right now though you just need you time the thought of someone else is not the way t g because you have a lot to process. and as vulnerable as you are feeling you dont need to be with anyone because it would be needing someone for the wrong reason thought it may feel right for the moments.

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  • He's taking his sense of loss out on you? I'm so sorry! Your story is doubly heartbreaking. I wish I could tell him you need him more than ever right now. Do you have any mutual friend that can go talk to him and give him the verbal kick in the ass he needs to stop being so selfish? I hear you… you two need to mourn this together.

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    • Just saw your update. Ugh. I understand his grief but not the way he's handling it. In the long run, perhaps you'll be better off without him. Anyone this insensitive and selfish is not best suited to be what you need. I really feel for you. I hope you are soon able to find joy again.

What Girls Said 1

  • Hey.. first of all im really sorry for what happened to you it must be terribly difficult to deal with both a grief and a break up. I think the smartest thing to do right now is taking care of yourself. Take the time to grief , cry , let it all out dont hold back. Make sure you dont keep it inside. Also make sure that you have people who love you around. Try to go out with them change ur mind. I know that its gonna take a long time but everything is going to be alright. Let time work its magic. Meanwhile try not to contact him. Believe me u are strong and dont need a man that dont see that and honey he's gonna come back because they all do at one point. But just make sure to think about u first and ur well being before thinking of going back to him. Hope that helps.. take good care of you!

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