Should I take back my cheating ex? Tricky situation, please help :)?

So last week my then girlfriend dumped me. It was all very unexpected because I didn't see it coming at all, we were so happy together. She gave some stupid reason which I didn't buy for the break-up. Turns out, just like I suspected, she made out with another guy. I found this out from my gf's best friend's boyfriend. Here's the story:
She went to a small party with her coworkers. They ended up doing mdma (she took 3 hits and she's a novice), drinking (15 drinks), and smoking weed. She was very fucked up. There was a guy at the party that I knew she was very sexually attracted to (supposedly she didn't know he was going to be there). Anyway, him and my girlfriend spent a lot of time together and it sounds like he was taking advantage of her state. My girlfriend was grinding her teeth like crazy and he said they should go get gum. They went to get gum (it was only a 5min walk) and he ended up walking her to a park where they talked. He asked her to hold his arm and then he kissed her. They had a full make-out session for about an hour, then went to the party.
Anyway, girlfriend tried to hide it from me but something seemed off and she told me that he was hitting on her but said she never cheated. I trusted her and put it behinds us. The very next day, she dumped me. I know it'scrazy that I want her back and that I shouldn't, but she was extremely messed up and I can see how it can happen without her even thinking it's a bad idea at the moment since I know I've done things on mdma (just 1 hit, let alone 3 + everything else) that I normally wouldn't have. She also did break up with me because she felt so guilty and she felt she didn't deserve after that. My source also tells me that she's not taking it well and knows how badly she fucked up and that she can't believe she did what she did. I am deeply in love with this girl. She's going to be moving to another country in 3 months. Should I take her back so we at least have 3 more months together?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • In this particular scenario I probably wouldn't take her back, but the biggest reason isn't for the kiss. She made some pretty average choices that night and put herself in the position for the kiss to happen. Going to a party and taking a drug cocktail (which honestly what kind of novice would take that much and then mix?) hanging out with a guy she has the hots for and without a sober friend to watch out for her... she's seriously lucky it wasn't just a kiss.
    It's like accepting a hot guys invitation to come over and watch Netflix and have a hot pocket. It sounds like a pretty good time but it's putting yourself in a position where you may need to make a choice: cheating or not. Why put yourself in that position?

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    • Exactly and that's what bothers the shit out of me, she never respected the relationship enough to not pull dumb things like this. If I ever tried telling her how I didn't like her doing something because it's disrespectful, she'd bring up her ex and say you're acting like my controlling jealous ex and you know how much I hate that, you don't trust me. I hate the fact that she made me doubt myself and make me think I was becoming jealous/controlling, when in fact I was way too lenient and she was just too wild, I was not the one in the wrong, I can't believe I let her make me believe I was.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I hate to break it to you, but she was probably looking for an excuse to break up, she doesn't feel sorry at all, "it's not you it's me" is the biggest BS line ever uttered. Getting smashed, drugged up and then making out with a guy she finds very attractive is all part of her twisted plan to have a clean break from you.

    Have some pride in yourself man and let this one go, there are plenty of good women out there who make better partners.

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    • I agree with everything you said and know you're right. I've always know ln that I can do much better than her even while we were still together, I've just never loved anyone more and that's why I'm having such a hard time moving on. I know I can find a more attractive, smarter, more mature, more caring, and more respectful girlfriend, but I've never felt a stronger bond with anyone else before. I have been trying to move on, in fact I got a girl's number two days ago who is even more attractive than my ex and seems smarter too, I'm calling her today to find out if she's keen on going on a date. I just don't want to start dating until I know I can out it in the past.

What Girls Said 7

  • No, absolutely not. Anyway, she's moving to another country, so don't waste anymore time one her.

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  • You shouldn't take her back, you trusted her and loved er. But she let you down.

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    • yea she did, it's so sad, I can't believe it's all over after all the happiness and wonderful memories we created. I can't believe she threw it all away for a crazy night and a good looking douchebag

    • I'm sorry that she did that to you

    • thank you

  • I say let it go...

    No excuses for cheating ever. She left with him knowingly putting herself in a private situation. At that point a kiss doesn't just happen it's expected. I am surprised they just made out...

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  • It was just making out, I don't see that as being a big deal especially because you can tell she regrets it. Being intoxicated is never an excuse to cheat but if you do decide to get back together I would suggest you both really communicate with each other and advice her that next time she goes out to be careful when she drinks & not drink too much. Overall I say give her a second chance (: good luck!

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  • Wow, your in a tough spot. May I ask why you weren't at the party with her? Love is very powerful and sometimes you give people more chances then they deserve. But first, you need to be 100% sure she didn't have sex with this guy. I'm really trying to put myself in your shoes right now. If it was me, given the circumstances, I may be inclined to give her another chance. BUT if she does anything like it again. She needs to be history. She shouldn't have put herself in this situation to begin with. It would be a good idea to have a long talk with her about this and set some ground rules and let her known that one more fuck up and thats it... If you keep taking her back she will continue to do it. Good luck

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    • I had to study for my finals, hell I should have gone because if I did I would have only missed one day of studying and not an entire week due to grieving. The least she could have done is have waited to break up with me until after my exams and now it looks like I'm going to fail because of this. I was so on track before this too. We met for coffee 2 days after the break up and I asked her if she did cheat and to be honest and she said she couldn't remember. She wouldn't budge one bit and was just being an ice queen. I only found out that she cheated this morning because I called my gf's best friend's boyfriend. I knew Incould trust him and knew he would know everything since couples tell each other all the gossip. So my girlfriend has no idea that I know she cheated. I haven't made a decision yet, but I'm greatly leaning towards never speaking to her again. The thing is I went anove and beyond for her and she always took me for granted, I was the one who kept the relationship going. The way she's

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    • yea she's so fucking immature, all my friends hated her and family the moment they found out how she handled the break up, I was still in shock so I was just depressed, I'm only now starting to get furious. I was so fucking good to her and she was too dumb to realize how lucky she was to have me. Everyone else knew how lucky she was except herself. All of her family's dream was that we'd get married because they knew she'd never do better and it's true, she won't. She's going to wake up one day and realize exactly what she lost and that's just sad because all I wanted for the both of us was to be together, but she threw it all away with her selfishness and immaturity.

    • Exactly. Good for you. stay strong. find someone who appreciates you. You seem like a genuinely nice guy. Best of luck to you :)

  • I was going to say give it another go, she might've realised her mistake until I read she's moving in 3 months, is there any point getting with her for 3 months? You'll be more hurt than you are now

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    • I just thought since I'm definitely not marrying this girl Incould have some more fun with her since we made each other so happy. I don't know what to think anymore.

    • You're only going to hurt the both of you by doing that

  • If you can forgive her then yeah absolutely take her back. Sounds like it was a mistake, bad judgement... I would forgive my husband (well I'd have trouble with the drug use... that is what I am guess the mdma is)

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    • My husband and I both made bad calls when we were young and had only been together for a month or 2... we both owned it right away and were always honest and got over it and nothing ever happened since. We have been together for 13years now, married for 9 of those.

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    • I can't believe that she threw out everything we had for a pos guy like that.

    • She probably didn't realize she did. She regreted it right after. If you can't get over it then both of yous need to go your separate ways and find happiness elsewhere

What Guys Said 11

  • Not only no, but Fuck No. She lied, she did something she shouldn't have, and to top it off, she's leaving soon.

    Let her bask in her alleged guilt (women don't feel guilty for things they do, they just don't like getting caught) for the next couple months. It will do her some good. Maybe, just MAYBE she'll think about this the next time she's in a relationship and she has the opportunity to do drugs that she knows she can't handle.

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    • I understand and the only reason I'm thinking of taking her back is because she broke up with me because she knew how much she fucked up and loved and respected me enough to know that I didn't deserve that. Her doing that soeaks a lot to me. Also, I know how lovey dovey and horny mdma can make you. There's parts of the nights that she was blacked out so i know she was not in the right state of mind. It's not like cheating on alcohol. I know I'm making excuses for her, but I just can't accept that the beautiful relationship we had is over because of a stupid mistake which she clearly knows how badly she fucked up.

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    • Yes, you dodged a major bullet.

      The woman you would have married put paid to that idea, and gave you a second chance at life. Do not throw it away. Do not ever wife any woman up. Finish medical school, become a doctor, and enjoy your life and freedom. Stay single, or everything you have done and will do will have been for naught. Learn from this experience.

    • I have learned a lot and the biggest thing I've learned is to never be as nice and good as I was. I should have been more controlling and more of a man and not put up with any bullshit. I should never forgotten my worth and should have walked away the moment she showed any signs that she wasn't a good girl. I've seriously grown up so much from this and feel so much manlier, I know that sounds odd but it's true. I know what I can bring in a relationship when I truly love the person and I'm not putting up with any girl's bullshit because I don't have the time or need for it. If she doesn't like it, the door is right there, I'll just find another girl that actually deserves me. I actually got another gir's number two days ago (random girl I met at the bus, she seemed interested) and I'm calling her today to set up a date. She's hotter than my ex too and her booty is fantastic. Karma better be real because I deserve to bang this girl.

  • No!!!

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  • Another cuck folks.

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  • Didn't read, but the answer is still NO.

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    • can you please just read it?

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    • You just sound like you need external affirmation for this, i don't think i could change your mind.

    • You're right and I actually think this question has changed my mind and I won't take her back (80% sure). I just miss her man, more so than anyone else I've ever missed.

  • In the words of Bishop Bullwinkle, HELL NAW NAW NAW. The thirst is real.. if she loved you she wouldn't be throwing these fitness/s--t tests (making out with another dude that isn't YOU?), best to leave the past IN THE PAST. Have some self-respect and drop the b---h quick. She act like an a-s, she ain't got no class. Next Her!

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  • No way dude. Keep your pride. That chick is ratchet. No way would I take her back. She had a make out session with some other dude, and she's leaving anyway. I wouldn't.

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  • Shame on her if she fools you once. Shame on you if she fools you twice

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  • No, you should not.

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  • I'd pardon her at least once.

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  • nah don't waste your time i know it hurts
    but trust me stay away

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  • Didn't even need to read the whole thing to give my opinion.

    Don't get back with her. End of story.

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    • can you please just read it?

    • I read it, man. I didn't need to, but I did. And the answer is no. Don't get back with her.

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