Why do some people have problems with exes? Manipulation not like... crazy stalkers, thats out of anyones control. Why keep the emotional connection?

I never understood how people get caught up with their exes and allow themselves to be manipulated by them. Once a girl becomes my ex, it's like she's a strsnger. Like before we ever dated, it's not hard to do. I feel like people that have these problems continue to talk to their exes in that same open manor they did before they broke up. They use the same inside jokes and nicknames and they remember past events in purpose just to have shut to talk about. Or they keep up on what their exes are doing. Sometimes I guess it's less avoidable than others but some people actively do it. Why? Why let it ever feel the same? Why would you keep that door open like that if you don't expect them to come in and make themselves at home again?


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What Girls Said 2

  • I don't use cutesy names or inside jokes with my ex, but I do have a hard time with attempting to treat him like a stranger, too. We spent two years together; it seems cruel to treat him like nothing now.

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  • You know what, this is so true. I'm not sure why but recently I feel like everyone's just obsessed with heartbreak. Instagram and other forms of social media is full of sad love quotes and so many people are hung up or in contact with their ex. I'm not sure if it's always been like this or it's just a current developing trend. It's like this one quote I saw that's like "You ask them about love and they tell you about heartbreak" lol. It's sad really.

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    • I Feel like it's a fear of rejection thing. People cling to someone that once accepted them in some capacity rather than go out and try to find someone acceptable to them. I guess theirs comfort in the familiar... Better the devil you know and all that. I guess for me though, I mainly value novelty so coming back to something that is familiar... And not only that but bad... It's just insane to me.

    • Yeah. I guess it has to do with self esteem too because I've only dated one person and I thought it was miraculous that he found me attractive and after splitting I really questioned my self worth. I guess it just takes a while to feel better and move on, however in order to do so you'd actually have to want to move on and that's where I guess some people struggle.

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