How long did it take you to truly get over your ex?

I know breakups are different for everyone, but that's part of the reason why I'm curious. This question is specifically meant for those of you who were in serious relationships where you were in love and could even imagine yourself marrying that person.
How long did it take until you stopped loving them?
How long did it take you to feel ready to date again and love another person?
If the relationship ended on bad terms, how long did it take until you stopped feeling overwhelmingly negative emotions towards your ex?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • As someone who was married for almost twenty years and divorced, I can honestly say you never get over them. You can never get over someone you truly love. You get past it. You accept it. You learn to live and love again, but you never get over it. The best you can hope for is to find peace with yourself and find peace in the fact that the person you love is truly happy... sad but true.

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What Guys Said 5

  • It was my first serious relationship. We were together for about 3 years and I was saving up money to buy an engagement ring. It had become long distance, and I was trying to get myself closer to her through my school choices. It was a really weird breakup because things seemed great the last time I had seen her and then 3 weeks later it was over. Truthfully, things hadn't been great, but it took a long time to realize that.

    I've heard the saying that it takes half the time of the relationship to get over someone. I think that's crap.

    I tried the rebound thing, except I'm not a rebound kind of guy. I tried to rebound right away into relationship mode and that wasn't good for anybody. For about 5 months I just felt completely numb. Then I met someone I was really into, but it didn't work out, and I realized that I was mostly disappointed because she would have made my ex really jealous. So, clearly I wasn't over things at that point.

    After about 9 months, I found out my ex was dating someone, which hit me pretty hard. It also brought up my competitive nature and I felt the need to start dating again. It worked okay. I went on some decent dates, nothing major. I also started getting closer with someone who would become my current girlfriend a few months later.

    It was about a year later when my current girlfriend and I officially decided we were a couple. It was maybe 8 months after when I realized I loved her. Even then, it was difficult to allow myself to be vulnerable again. And my feelings toward my ex were still very complicated. Being in a relationship with someone who treated me so much better, I began to realize all of the things I should have been mad about with my ex. But I also missed her like crazy. And there was still a lingering thought in the back of my mind that we'd end up getting back together one day.

    Eventually, nearly 3 years after the breakup, I talked to a friend who had once been in a similar situation and she really talked some sense into me and made me realize that I deserve to be happy while being treated well. It made a difference, and, for the most part I've been over the ex ever since. But to this day, there's still a part of me that would like to see her again, catch up on life with her, and then scream at her for like an hour about all the awful things she did to me.

    So, I guess you could say it's a complicated feeling that continues to get healthier with time?

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  • I know your story, and I'm sorry that you were cheated on even after three years. It's been about three months, right? I'm kinda in a related scenario. Anyways, here are my answers.

    1. As for my first relationship, and it's been five months since we split, I haven't stopped. I stopped showing it, but I still need more time. So I can't answer this for you. I hear that it's normally like a year or so, but we will see.
    2. I just started to feel ready, maybe a few weeks ago. Took me like four months or so. But to love? That can wait. My future is more important to me at the moment.
    3. Again, this one took me maybe just recently. It's hard for me to stay mad or angry. Grudges aren't my thing. I have forgiven her, but it doesn't mean I have forgotten.

    As a guy I hope I helped. And I hope you are healing well. You seem nice and you have such pretty eyes. Don't let it go to waste because of one guy. Stay strong.

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  • The first "breakup" was the hardest for me to deal with as it shouldn't have happened how it did and we were both compatible in every way possible, but there wasn't much choice I had but to move on, and this was the outlook I had for the future relationships that ended as well. I still loved her for some months later but with every separation I further "hardened" myself to the possibility of a breakup so that it took less time with each failed relationship to get over them.

    This doesn't mean that I didn't have hope for it to succeed or try to make it work out, but rather that I preferred to remain realistic. I'll be disappointed for a few days but I'll get over it quickly enough. It might be a different result if, say, I was dating a woman for a long part of my life, but I'm not that old yet and haven't met anybody since my last girlfriend, four years ago.

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  • Don't thing any timeframe can be fixed. it varies according to the intensity of the persons emotions towards their ex. At times it can even last a lifetime.

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  • Your the only one to answer your own question.. Never the same break ups. Diffrrent players diff Reasons

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What Girls Said 1

  • 1 day

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    • I have a hard time believing that. Someone you loved and imagined a future with?

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    • That's not the type of relationship I was referring to then lol.

    • Yeah, the relationship turned into a prison and I am glad I got out of there

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