Is it really over... Break Up or Make Up?

Last Friday, my boyfriend of four years broke my trust... once again. We have had a rollercoaster ride of a relationship, with both of us making mistakes, owning up to them and forgiving each other. Still wanting to make it work, for the love that we share. We both have children, he has a son who is seven and my daughter is 12. We do not live together and live about an hour away from each other. So weekends are usually when we are together, unless the other person has work or other engagements. What caused the breakup is that he went over to his sons mothers house around 1130pm on Friday night, to get custody papers signed. His sons mother abandoned him when he was 3 years old. I've grown to love him and become attached over the years. The purpose of the custody paper was to avoid court and this will allow him to file taxes with his son as his dependent. Long story short, he promised to call me once he left and had the paper signed. 3 hours went by and I heard nothing from him. At 3:30am he texted me this: "Baby I'm here I'm not doing nothing wrong. I love u" So I called him back immediately a few times, he didn't pick up and no further texts were received. At 10:30am I get a phone call, him telling me he is just waking up, and getting defensive to my questions of where he was all night. At this point you may be thinking I'm a paranoid person? But with reason.. he cheated on me with her in the first year of our relationship. I just don't understand why he can't answer calls or texts when he is with this woman. I don't deserve him to get up and step outside for one second, answer a call and put my mind at ease? There's been doubts about whether he is the "right" guy for me but I DON'T doubt that I love this man. I get butterflies thinking of him, especially now that I ended the relationship. Its only been a week and Im questioning whether I'm walking away from something good, that will grow into something even better. Love is there, but communication and trust, no.

Updates:
I'd like to add for clarity, that I began to call and texted him a few times around 1:30am with no response.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Wow, talk about drama. I mean, from what you described, that's not being paranoid... that's straight up catching him. There's really no explanation there for what he did. He needs to talk to her, fine. He needs to stay late, fine. He needs to stay over... you know, I think that could even be fine too. But he needs to able to talk to you and explain things. Dodging you is just shady and he deserved to get dumped.

    In the end, it's up to you (duh) but I don't think you could ever trust this guy. You should move on unless you can make it so that you're always ok with him having this ex on the side. I mean, that's not completely ridiculous -- some people do that. You just have to decide if it's something you want to do and my guess is that you wouldn't.

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    • Definitely not ok with Ex on the side. I don't even understand how he can stand her considering the trauma she put his son through in leaving him; Much less have sex with her, but I don't put it past him either. She doesn't see her son at all. His aunt (her sister had him for two years. And he's been with his dad for a year and a half now... I'm baffled. Thank you for confirming that he deserved to get dumped for what he did!

What Girls Said 2

  • If he's cheated on you with his ex-wife (I'm guessing since you two we're dating and with the custody papers and what-not), that's not okay. I honestly think that you should have left him right when you found out that he was cheating on you in the first time. Clearly, if a guy cheats on you, he either is looking for something else, or doesn't like/love you not to cheat on you.
    I know these are big words for a 15-year-old to say but still.
    If he's gone back to her even after the divorce (again, assuming), and has done this to you for the second time you've been dating him, do NOT take him back, even if he comes crawling back. He will promise you that it's not going to happen again but it will.
    I think there's a saying but it might just be me: ''Once a cheater, always a cheater''
    Hope this helps :)

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  • U have to talk to him about it in person and see his reactions if he cheated u then u can obviously find it in his face.. and if u lost trust after that break up with him he don't deserve u..

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    • I blocked him from contacting my phone on Saturday and changed my status to single on Facebook. He was livid.. but I needed the space. I unblocked him today and we had our first conversation, in which he was concerned about what people think and mutual friends on Facebook knowing we are having issues. But I don't care about what people think. He said nothing happened and that he slept at home and I should trust him but it all seems shady to me. I'm not sure I'm ready to see him yet, or ever again.

    • if he is saying the truth n u misunderstood him.. U l loss a precious relationship.. so u have to talk to him once

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