Pushed out of friend circle?

So I dated this girl for 6 months. She was from my church. The breakup wasn't messy. I wanted to make things work, but she didn't. I never treated her poorly, we were just too different.
Anyhow, it has been 2 months since the break up and although my church friends seem to be acting the same around me, something is off. For instance, on Friday they threw a pot luck and didn't bother inviting me. I'm almost positive she got invited, and feel like they didn't invite me because she was going. They're also planning a small getaway in 2 weeks. I found out about it from a mutual friend who thought they had invited me - they didn't.
Is there any recovering from this situation? I'm considering switching churches and starting fresh - which bothers me since I've been going to this church for 20 years, and my ex just started attending 3 years ago.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Ask them what's going on. If it's to do with your ex, just tell them there are no hard feelings between you two (I assume there aren't) and if they say something about letting you two move on tell them it was your relationship and it's none of their business how fast/slow you're moving on.

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    • No hard feelings between us - at least not on my end. I was considering talking to them. However, I'm still bothered by the fact that no one even attempted to reach out. I've know this group of friends for at least the last 8 years, and she just started talking to them a little over a year ago.

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    • Thanks for the advice! I'll definitely consider it. Part of me is hesitant, though. I feel like I would be wasting my time on people who chose someone who they've known for a year over someone who they've known for 8 years (many of whom I've known since birth).

    • There could be a perfectly reasonable explanation for it, if they've known you since birth they'll at least listen to what you have to say.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't know what to say because in a sense i understand but i don't because i'm catholic but i don't attend quite religiously (literally) church meetings like you do BUT what do you think is causing the rejection? You must have some kind of idea where this is coming from...

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    • I genuinely do not. I wish I did. All I know is that I haven't been invited to a single party, get-together, etc. since the break up. I know she's incredibly social, and probably more fun to be around. Maybe that's why.

    • Dude. I'll send you a message

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • initiate some things with your social circle, get it established, then reach out to her and tell her she is welcome to come along and that it's only meant to be platonic friendship... once everyone sees you two are getting along and are comfortable together just being friends then things might normalize

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    • 😳😳

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    • dont focus on that, you are only giving yourself the suckers choice when you do that. There are a lot of dynamics at play here and you can't boil it down to them favoring her over you. If you want to be part of the circle, then act like it and start organizing things with your part of the circle.

    • Sorry wrote a message and accidentally deleted it. Fuck. Ya what she says. I concur

What Guys Said 1

  • Sounds like you need better friends.

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