Like a lot of men my husband made rude "joking" comments after our baby was born about my body. This being my third child I was determined to begin working out as soon as possible anyways but his comments were very insulting considering he had given me an ultimatum before marriage that we'd have children or else (poignant because I'd already had two children then my tubes tide years before so this child he HAD to have was through IVF and no accident). My husband has never been supportive of my working out (I thought because he had to watch the baby 6 days a week for 1.5hrs) he never complements me (and I seriously look great!!) and won't have sex with me. He's now nasty and picking fights, calling me fat and acting like a complete child. Although I started this for both of us I think he resents me for being so committed. It's absurd and I just want some male perspective as to what's possibly going through his head. I'm certain I'm watching the end of our relationship.
I know what I have to do.
Most Helpful Guy
I don't think that this is about your working out. What your husband is doing is common at the end of relationships. What people will often do in a dying relationship is they'll pick fights and act in a way to cause conflict. This creates unhappiness in both parties and serves as a way to help convince themselves that they really should end the relationship. You know, this sort of self-fulfilling prophecy where he picks a fight and then says to himself afterwards "See! All we do is fight!"
At this point, you really have two options. You can let the relationship run its course or you can try to save it through counseling. With counseling, you two might be able to open a dialogue as to what's going on exactly. What are thing things that you two are most unhappy about? Is there another woman? Things like that. I think that which direction you guys go depends on what you think is possible between you two and what you want for yourself. Maybe you'd be happier without him too and it's better off to just let this go. I was going to write more on the divorce route but... I think you have enough to think about for now.1
Most Helpful Girl
Honestly he may be threatened by your independence and drive to reach your goals. I don't know what kind of person he is outside of what you described, but if he's lagging behind in life, he may resent you for being ahead.
Honestly if he continues to treat you that way you should drop that man like a hot potato because someone like you deserves a lot better than that.2