Is it OK to cheat if your girl stops having sex with you?

After the birth of my second child my wife has given up sex. It's been two years since the last time we have been together and we have had relation only 4 times in the 5 years before that. We have talked about it and all she says is that part of her life is over and I have to deal with it. But do I?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • No. What u need to do, if fucking talk to ur girlfriend, saying u have been feelings frustrated. And tell her that it really bothers u, because she needs to separate roles. She is ur wife and ur partner, but she is also a mother. These roles are different. One can't mix with the other.

    A good relationship should have: trust, communication, honesty, faith, support, loyalty, and be connected sexually and emotionally.

    If after plenty of work to save your marriage this doesn't work. Then u can fill for divorce.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • The fuck you do.

    She does not get to arbitrarily decide your sex life is over.

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    • True. But he doesn't get to arbitrarily decide that their relationship is no longer monogamous. They need to talk it out, and if no solution can be found, they should break up. Cheating is not justified.

    • @samhradh_leannan Hey I don't see where she discussed anything with him before making her decision. Live by the sword, die by the sword.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 6

  • I am not sure her age, but when the children get older, and as she gets older this will change. Women usually do go through a period after children where sex is like just not important. A sexless marriage is very important to discuss. I know many men who do wonder outside of marriage for this reason. IT never makes it right. You have to have open dialogue with your spouse. Be honest as much as it hurts. Tell her your thoughts about straying if she can't come to be more open about sex between the two of you. You see if both parties in a marriage tend to have sex as a NON ISSUE then usually it works out. But when one wants sex, while the other does not. Someone is going to cheat. The cheating is all about lies and deception. You have to bring honesty into the equation or else you will hurt people. Best of Luck

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  • Nope. There is no excuse to cheat. Communicate about your needs and put in effort to improve your relationship. Ask your wife to work with you to find a compromise that will make both of you happy, so that your relationship can continue. If you can't come to a compromise you'll have to break up.

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  • It's never ok to cheat.

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  • nope it is not ok

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  • Why would you cheat when you can just leave? Don't do that kind of damage

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  • No, because you committed to her. If you're not happy in the relationship then break up with her. Or have an open relationship if you'd both be happier that way

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What Guys Said 14

  • Damn, I'd say leave her, but you have two kids :/
    But eventually no sex will make you miserable and will affect your relationship negatively. Obviously cheating is not ok, but you need sex, and so does she... I wouldn't be surprised if she's cheating.

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  • I don't want to go the cheating path, but i would suggest that you make a close examination of what could be causing her lack of interest in sex, besides dealing with kids, and now being insecure about her body (strech marks).

    As a man your job is to hang out, have fun, hook up, your job is to create an opportunity to have sex, how do you invite a woman to have sex with you, by creating the lifestyle that makes women feel comfortable around you, that makes women feel comfortable with your sexuality but most importantly hers, by living a life worth living, by being and looking healthy, by being focused to your goals, your life goals... women are attracted to men who have goals, that's why starving paint artist, musicians get all the women, they might not be getting rich but they devote their lifes to one porpuse.

    Now ask yourself... Am i working towards my lfie goals? Am i working just to make money, or am i working because i love what i am doing?

    In addition i recommend you workout to spend that energy that you have stored for sex, workout to exhaustion, practice a sport like soccer, American football, boxing, mixed martial arts, basically engage in activities with other men, have friends come over at home, and have drinks, women think less of a man without male friends.

    Stop asking for sex, with women, the more you ask, the less you get, women are like cats, they come and go as they please, so wait for her to ask for sex and intimacy, maybe you have drifted out of your masculine essence, and hence why she doesn't feel attraction.

    I recommend you read about Sexual Polarity, also read the books, Way of the Superior Man by David Deida, or No more Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover guarantee to change your views about certain topics.

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  • Her approach is selfish. You do not have to. If she refuse to any compromise, I would suggest counselling. If this fails, another option is divorce.
    But you can't blame only her. When you were dating, you must recognise that she's not into sex so much. Cheating is not ok. If she will find out, you will most likely end up with divorce and everyone will blame you.

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  • I wouldn't cheat. I would ask her if you could have an open relationship. The answer she gives you is not important. She wil know sex is important to you. If she doesn't want to have sex or let you have sex with other women go to couples counseling and if that doesn't work i would divorce.

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  • hell no, it's never OK to cheat. Have you tried having a talk with your wife about how you feel about it?

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  • You make lots of valid points.

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  • Not ok to cheat but its ok to dump her.

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  • no its not ok, talking is the solution

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  • she married for the money brah she doesn't care about making you happy

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  • Of course

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  • That's a stupid question

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  • If she said that to me then I would tell her I guess she's going to have to deal with me getting it somewhere else if she's not willing to compromise

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    • Was she a virgin when you married her because those are the only ones that can actually go without

  • Find some FWBs on the side and don't say anything to your wife because clearly she's not taking your feelings and sexual needs into consideration here!

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  • Man up and tell her first!!!

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