Broke up with my boyfriend, now he's threatening suicide, should I feel guilty?

So after months and months of constant fighting and emotional abuse from my boyfriend, I finally had the strength to end the relationship tonight ( he has been calling me names and treating me badly all day, I'm already depressed and don't like myself as it is) and at first I felt so good about myself for the first time in a long time but then he pulled the suicide card and how I "ruined his life" by breaking up with him. Now I'm scared and starting to feel guilty if he really does follow through with this threat. I called him a few times, no answer, texted him and nothing so I'm slowly losing my mind right now and don't know what to do..

Updates:
Quick update on the situation: After I realized I can't change his mind on the problem at hand, I stopped contacting him then that is when he started blowing up my phone, calling and texting non stop. I had enough and told him to stop contacting me and that I'm done being bullied by him and that he needs serious help to which he started saying how he shouldn't live anymore so I told him if he does not call for help then I will phone the police and his mother, his attitude changed very quickly.
I ended up blocking my ex on all social media accounts and his phone number and I had peace for awhile until a few of his friends started asking me questions like "why are you ignoring him" "are you done with him completely" and "you know he wants back with you right". It feels like I can never completely get away from him without going insane first. Thankfully it's not him contacting me with his negative attitude and hurtful words.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's moral blackmail.

    Hit the "Eject" button as far as the relationship is concerned. He's no good for you. He's no good for anybody until he sorts his own problems out. These problems are between *his* ears and might be irresolvable, in which case you want to stay away from him long enough for him to go chasing after someone else.

    Think through your personal safety in the short term, even if you don't have to act on these thoughts. Do you have any large, armed, male relatives you could go and crash with?

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    • This is exactly what I told him the last time we talked and that he needs help before he goes after someone else and to answer that last question, yes I have many male relatives who would like to hurt him lol

    • Don't get enmeshed in him, and discourage your male relatives from hurting him except in a point-defence situation. Best to let him pass by and career off to his own destruction.

      You do know, don't you, that there's probably not going to be much "help" for him?

      It sounds as if the poor bloke isn't wired up right; and there's no cure for that.

Most Helpful Girl

  • No, there is nothing for you to feel guilty over if he truly decided to take his own life. You are not responsible for his mess and what he decided to do. The best way to handle this is to get the authorities involved. He has serious major issues, and it's so bad that he has to resort to killing himself over his problems. He needs serious counseling and so do you for your sanity after dealing with emotional abuse. That relationship was not healthy to begin with. You've done all that you could have done. And leaving him was the wise decision. Because god forbid you stayed with him any longer. Your life would have been on the line as well. That is something that you need to seriously think about. But that relationship needed to end. Or it would have ended in the worse way possible.

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    • @Asker

      Update: Good job Asker! I know it had to be hard but this is what happens when you pull through. Don't let that manipulation game start. Because either way he still needs help psychologically amd can't function in relationships with the way he is now. You deserve your freedom amd your peace of sanity.

    • @Asker

      Update #2: You tell his friends that you've been officially done when you broke up with him. And you dont wamt to see neither him and them again. To please leave you alone.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 25

  • call the cops, tell them and they'll go to his location. if he's fucking with you it'll scare the shit out of him and his family, if not you'll save his life

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  • Don't even reply to their messages. Even turn your phone off for a couple of days if you can.
    Don't back down any more to the petty and pathetic person her seems to be.

    Be strong for you... make dates to go out with friends and have fun... just to forget about him.

    I feel sorry for girls like you trapped in these situations. I dated a girl once who had a boyfriend like that previously. He was doing the suicide rant and trying to scare me with his musclebound chums. I flinched not one iota and we carried n dating and he is still alive and well.

    Stay strong... it will blow over when he finds someone else.

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  • And now he's still trying to pull emotional abuse.

    He may be emotional but he's trying to jolt your attention. The more contact you have with him the longer it's going to go on

    Oh, in the future when you go to date someone don't get into a relationship because of his justin bieber hair or his style. choose guys who are emotionally well balanced.

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  • Involve his friends. He is just threatening.

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  • It is a cruel attempt at manipulation (more emotional abuse).

    In the unlikely event he does go through with it, IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT. Do not for one second think that it is.

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  • No.
    He's the crazy one, don't let him manipulate your feelings.

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  • Even if he does go through with it (which I doubt he will), you are not responsible for his life.

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  • you should inform his mother or police about that.. so if he do something crazy no one will blame you... or they may take necessary steps to help him

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  • no dont feel guilty if you did what you thought was right why feel guilty

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  • Yap, it's a problematic one alright, level 9000.
    Send him contacts to get professional help.

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  • No. If he commits suicide, that is on him.

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  • No let nature take its course. Why be guilty when you can move on? When world will, so why not you?

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  • No, he's trying to manipulate you, you're not responsible for his issues.

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    • @Update

      Good job handling him: threatening to go to his mom or the cops was a smart move and him changing his tune proves he was just trying to manipulate you.

  • What an idiot. Let him do whatever he wants. He probably doesn't even have the guts to give himself a paper cut.

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  • lmao no. people who are loud usually dont follow through with their actions.

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  • So you'd prefer to stay with someone stupid enough to have suicidal tendencies over a break up?

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  • hell be all right

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  • Don't feel guilty buy him the rope

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  • you should leave him alone it typically a ploy to get power over someone seeing as you are a caring person he probably thinks you will come running back ignoring him is best

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  • No. If he is so retarded, he should do it. He will do humanity a favor

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  • it's not your fault. tell one of his family members so that they can get him the help he needs

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  • call the police. he's unstable. and i repeat, do not get back together with him

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  • I've had depression my whole life and almost killed myself many times. I'd never threaten a girl like that and it's not your problem :( please tell someone about this because you don't need this crap in your life. Usually if a person is really going to kill themselves it's secret and you don't tell people because you feel lost and don't want to have other people know. You are young and really don't need an asshole trying to depress you like this. you poor girl, this is something very screwed up and he is an asshole for doing this to you :( Break free now and tell his family or someone about this as I can tell you it takes a lot of emotional pain to commit suicide and you would not be the direct cause if he did. seriously you need a big hug right now and get rid of this asshole. take care :( <3

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    • Thank you, that means a lot

    • That's OK, you take care and don't let him emotionally blackmail you. It's really good that you are sticking up for yourself and not letting his threats get to you, also if his friends start to abuse you then block them too. :)

  • i feel like we are only getting one side of the story.

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What Girls Said 14

  • Hell no. He's trying to manipulate you. Call the police and tell them he's threatening suicide. Then he won't get a reaction from you.

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  • Don't fall for it - its designed to make you feel guilty (like you do) and to make constant calls, texts, checking up on him. Don't contact him again and leave it alone now. If he's abusive and rude to you, just tell him to feck off and to never bother you again. He's doing what he does best - manipulating your feelings to make himself feel superior. Spend the day with family or friends and block his number.

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  • No you shouldn't feel guilty at all. This is emotional abuse and he's only doing this to try and get back into your life. If I were you I'd cut all contact with him completely and move on with your life.

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  • No, not at all, he's being a manipulative jerk

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    • Show his friends the messages he was sending you about committing suicide, chances are he hasn't told them that

  • That's emotional abuse. You were right to leave him.

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  • No, in a relationship, you have to not t only look out for your partner but also yourself. If you feel as if you're not comfortable anymore or that you don't want to be apart of the relationship, you have every right. You can't feel bad for following your heart and your guy feeling and for Doug what's healthy for you.

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  • Text him and say he has 5 minutes to respond or you're calling 911 and his parents.

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  • You don't need to feel guilty. Sure, he feels this way because you broke up but seeing you had an abusive relationship it could just be a manipulative trick to lure you back in.

    If someone wants to kill themselves and blames you, while you only chose for your own wellbeing instead of theirs, you're doing nothing wrong.

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  • He's just bluffing. He's trying to make you feel really guilty so he could find a way back into your life again. Cut all contact from him. Block his number and continue your life. Find someone who respects you and treat you better than he did.

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  • I'd feel guilty because I wouldn't know what to believe

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  • So he is emotionally ill. You were right to leaving him

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  • Don't get back with him

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  • I got a question

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  • Usually people that are emotionally or physically abusive are like that, they only qant to get your attention, and they think thats the only way to have the person stay. Truth is, they won't suicide. Been there.

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