Dumped for being emotionally unavailable? WTF?

I met this guy 3 months ago and everything started off really good. We never fought. It seemed healthy. Then things have been quiet for a month. I've just been tired and sleeping a lot. I don't really like talking on the phone or texting much and need space. But I would send him a message daily that said how I wanted him.
So tonight he calls me up and says it's over because I'm emotionally unavailable, apparently. He's upset because at first I would text him a lot and call him. But now that things have settled there's no need for that. There have been multiple times this last week where he texted and I had fallen asleep after work so I took a few hours to get back to him. So now suddenly he was suspicious because I told him a few guys asked me out this week. But no. Mr butthurt and needy thinks I don't like him because I didn't give him enough attention? pffft. Maybe I'm better off. I mean he sounds crazy right? I'm shocked I never suspected this from him. HE didn't seem crazy. This came out of nowhere.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Relationship is all about maintaining temparament and dynamics of attention and love which was seen at beginning. If either of the person notices the change, it starts bothering.
    You paid nice attention at start out of excitement but then as relationship started getting older , attention started going down for whatever genuine reason it was.

    He noticed that and got insecure and when he was worried if my baby Darling loves me anymore or not you gave him news of how few guys are asking you out. Omg

    In this circumstances, anyone would develop conclusion that things are not like before and you might be losing interest and to protect his self respect he thought it was better to end myself before my girlfriend does that.

    And it all happened based on assumptions, miscommunication , and misunderstanding situations.

    Hence what you can do is try to reverse the situation by meeting at person anyhow and explaining him all the circumstances and how some current situation is creating misunderstanding.

    Then ball is in his court. Make your position clear and if he is mature enuf than he will be at peace.

    If he still whines, you are better off without him then. ;-)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think he's in the right if I was him I'd do the same.

    A relationship needs nurturing.

    I used to fall asleep, but then I told him let's call each other and if we fall asleep at least you can hear me snore :-p. Or we had cut off point when to stop talking ours was 9pm.

    We saw each other at least 3 times a week.

    Texts aren't enough.

    When I started our relationship I'd hardly talk to him, now he's my companion, my husband, my sole mate, my consort and my best friend. He comes first. I come first for him. Now we talk all the time.

    I think you needed space, and you should have told him, your working hard and are tired. Communication is so crucial to any relationship.

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What Guys Said 12

  • Like many relationships with unhappy ending, lack of communication, understanding and agreement is standing out boldly.
    The fault is on both of you, although his side is pretty much heavier.
    The relationship sounded wrong from the first place. There is a lot of wrong factors in the middle.
    You both should've discuss this with maturity before it led to this.
    -He is insecure and distrusted over you
    -He couldn't understand your conditions. You are working and have particular schedule which is natural to feel tired or even demand some space or chilling time on your own.
    -He had lack of ability to confront his issues and discuss it in the act of maturity.
    -He also ignored the fact you don't really favor texting and phone calling. And the fact that you were doing it at first is because you pushed yourself through your own limits to prove your care for him.

    However, if you both would balance a good amount of communication, it wouldn't be this way.

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  • Yup you had this coming.
    "Mr butthurt and needy thinks I don't like him because I didn't give him enough attention? pffft."
    Communication is the key to a relationship. If you cared you could have texted him that you were tired and that you loved him, but that wasn't the case, now you are here, bitching like its his fault.
    You are a piece of work. Good for him.

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  • Most people want to spend a lot of time with their partners. Your ex was like that and you are not.
    I think the breakup was a legitimate reason and it's really no ones fault..
    Don't worry about it if you think it's a dumb reason though. People always say stupid things when they break up.

    Once a girl broke up with me for this reason... She said "You treat me like gold".

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  • My opinion is that you need someone that doesn't care where you are or what you do, also he would want to do what ever he wants to and when ever, you should then not interfere too much or ask too many questions. No need to text every day because it seems needy, just know that each of you are still alive and Fuck now and then, should be enough for the rest of your life.

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  • It sounds like a perfectly good reason to me considering you've barely been paying attention to him recently.

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  • You are emotionally unavailable. I know because I am exactly the same or probably more so. That is part of why I do not want to be in a relationship.

    What we see as needy is normal to most others. He is not crazy, you are just incompatible.

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  • Guys need attention, just as girls. Maybe he found some other girl who appreciate him more and don't brag about getting hit on by other guys.
    But I couldn't really tell. It totally depends on the situation.
    Perhaps he felt lonely without you and that bragging of getting hit on by those guys was too much for him. Some guys are really sensitive to such things because of insecurities.

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  • Sounds like maybe a bad match.

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  • Cheap excuse N303.

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  • easy beautiful lady you may be young but its not the end of the world just yet

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  • He doesn't seem crazy but he certainly sounds like a wittle bitch, fuck him. He can go find a 19 year old to snapchat, split milkshakes and go to bieber concerts with. They can text all day n be BFFs.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I personally hate texting too but I do <3 talking on the phone with someone I really like. I don't think people should be mean about this, like how they are. But if it was vice versa and a guy I liked rarely talked to me, whether it was in person or not, I'd figure he was seeing other girls, especially after he told me he'd been hit on. Taking a few hours to get back to him is totally normal, but if you guys rarely talked then this reaction from him makes sense.

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  • He seems insecure and needs a steady dose of attention

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  • It's only normal he was suspicious since you rarely text and call him. I guess he thinks you were just playing him

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  • He is either very needy or is using it as an excuse to exit the relationship. Either way say adios amigos. At our age no one likes clingy. We have our separate lives and things to do... etc.

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