Should I wish my ex a Merry Christmas?

She was my first serious girlfriend and we were together for a year. She dumped me around 2 months ago, possibly for cheating when she had a crazy night out which involved many drugs. We haven't spoken much since the breakup. I'm visiting my family at the moment and we're in different time zones (she's 15 hours ahead) so it's Christmas for her but not for me. I spent the last Christmas with her and her family and her family and I were very close (parents and brother wanted me as a son-in-law).

Before people say anything, yes, I'm not completely over her, but I'm almost there and I've even been seeing a new girl for over a month. I don't want to be friends with her because of what she did, but she was the first girl I was in love with and wanted to marry so I still want to have some idea of how her life is once in while, like a relative you hate.

  • Yea go for it
    36%(9)34%(12)Vote30%(3)
  • Forget about her
    64%(16)66%(23)Vote70%(7)
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
Just to clear things up. Yes, I do have some feelings for her, but they're mostly covered by hatred at this point haha. I don't want my hatred for what she did to control my actions. She and her family took me in last Christmas when I couldn't be with my family and they treated me like their own, I just want to be courteous.
I did text her and she replied back with a thank you and same for me. I think I made the right call.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I mean, why not? I think you're better off without her. If you feel like it's the right thing to do and you just have genuine intentions, then why not. I just gotta warn you that if you have any expectations from her, you might get hurt, even if you think you won't.

    If you kinda just want to wish her without showing too much care, you could pretend it's a mass text and send like a general merry Christmas message.

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    • I honestly don't have any other intentions than to keep it civil. I kind of even want to rub it in her face like yes, you were a selfish bitch to me during the relationship and you cheated, but I'm above being petty about and do want you and your family to have a merry Christmas since you had me over for your Christmas last year when I couldn't visit my family.

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    • The only thing I'm expecting is a thank you and merry Christmas back, that's really it. I'm passed the point of expecting an apology or her even admitting that she cheated when everyone who knows what happened knows there's no way she didn't cheat. I know I'll never get that closure and that's just a reflection of her character and not mine. So in a way it has given me closure and I really am moving on with my life and actually look forward to meeting new and better girls (I have met a much better girl already). I'm finally at the acceptance stage of grief and have accepted that I was never as important to her as she was to me and that's ok, it happens sometimes, it was just unfortunate that it had to happen to me.

    • It makes sense, really. I just want to say again that don't expect her to respond, is all.

Most Helpful Guy

  • You have to cut ties sometimes. You can't keep trying to connect. You both need to move on in your separate ways.

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    • Yea you're right, I just feel like it would be rude not to since I almost spent Christmas with her again this year and spent it last year with her and her family. I'm not going to contact her for future holidays, just this one.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Just FUCKING no.

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  • it's better if you don't send anything. 2 months is recent and you already seeing a new girl. Think about how would the new girl feels if she knew. She would think that you are trying to go back to your ex and get worked out over it.
    I feel like she'll be the one trying to text you since it was her fault. If she did answer but don't initiate

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    • I'm not in a relationship with the new girl and I've made it clear to her that I'm not ready for a relationship yet and that I want to date other girls as well and she's fine with it. I don't want my ex back at all, I can do SOOO much better and deserve better.

  • you dont want to be with her and you dont want to be friends. if you contact her then you're not really letting her go. its like a teddy bear that you hate so you toss it in your closet. instead of throwing it away you put it there and now you will see it from time to time you will see it everytime you open the closet.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Keeping looking forward and don't look back.

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  • Had you broke up for some other reason and were on good terms, I would say yes. However, because she cheated I would personally say she doesn't deserve your time and you should just move on from her and find someone who will respect you and your relationship.

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