Why do guys make you fall then just leave when you demand a relationship?

Hope you'd be patient reading my story.
I met a guy on okcupid and we are 94% match so I said hi. He replied and then we started talking daily. After some time, he said he's leaving okcupid and wants to give "us" a chance. So we talked on facebook. He initiated our first video call. Called me with a term of endearment first. Sent the "❤️" icon first. Left the first voice message. Because of this I've fallen for him. When I admitted it to him, all he said was he's not sure about his feelings for me since we haven't met personally. I said why did you treat me that way if you don't feel any attachment to me? He said because he wanted to feel the same way that I do so he thought if he would treat me nicely he would. We ended up deciding to be friends for now but we don't talk anymore. It's so painful. Why did he make me fall if he wouldn't catch me in the end?

Updates:
Thanks for the honesty guys but you shouldn't blame me! Should I feel bad that I've fallen for him? I'm just human. I have feelings and emotions. Why are you all making it sound that it was my fault? Wasn't it his fault? He actually played with my feelings. He would call me princess, sweetie, honey... talk about the future with me, ask my preferences about the future, tell me he would like to meet me asap in person... and for what? So that he could just dump me in the end? That is stupid!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • This relationship was destined to fail. No internet dating sites can decide your match makers remember this you first world people.

    It's a romantic fantasy but sorry, such relationship are often shallow. Use internet as platform to befriend first but try to make it later in real meetings. This is the way to go.

    Don't develop any attachment in life unless you make it real. Don't be dependent on computers for your matches.
    94% match my foot HUHHHHHHHHHH

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    • In OkCupid there's a lot of questions... we answered mostly the same. So I think we are really compatible, unless he wasn't truthful in his answers.

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    • thanks, you made me feel better

Most Helpful Girl

  • To answer your main question? Because they want to sex. They want a hookup and expect sex on the first date or first few. Now to answer your overall question. Who knows really. Sites like OkCupid are about lust and sex from these users. It may have to do with the fact that things are moving a bit too quickly for him, and he doesn't feel the same way about you. He says that he isn't sure, but the reality is, he IS sure. He is just a bit freaked out that in such a short time that you're already that emotionally invested in him. If he doesn't feel the same way, then walk away. One-sided relationships end's badly.

    The thing is, he never made you fall for him. YOU did it yourself. You have to know if you want to love him of not, not fall in love. This is what happens when you do. My advice is to not get emotionally attached and so invested so early in a relationship when there is no guarantee it will last and they don't show that they equally feel the same about you. It will just lead to more disappointments.

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    • I am happy that wisdom still exists in developed world.

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    • @Asker

      Falling in love in immaturity. Because you're going by feelings, you don't know if you really love him. With real love, It takes time to develop. You came on way too strongly, and he doesn't comprehend that. I understand how you feel overall. But you have to remember that not everybody is going to be receptive of that. He may not be a feeler like you are. So he probably took it as irrational. It was harsh how he did it. But now you know the truth. He doesn't feel that way with you. And I don't mean by 'yet'. He just doesn't. And right now, you just have to move on from him. It's not going to work out.

    • @Asker

      The point is, yes, while you are entitled to your own feelings. We can only assess the issue by how much information you decide to give us. We can only imagine how you felt and how he felt. Is anybody saying you take the full blame? No. We are all responsible for how we manage our feelings. Nobody isn't saying he didn't string you along. But at the same time, you have to learn to have balance when it comes to expressing how you feel. Because when you go ahead and tell them so quickly, they can easily manipulate the situation and you, and then pull back. All you can do learn from this experience, and use wisdom.

What Guys Said 1

  • It sounds like you got way too attached way too fast which scared him off since he wasn't even sure if he liked you yet and why should he when it sounds like you don't know each other that well plus you haven't even met each other.

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    • But he told me he likes me a lot :(

    • because he wanted to see you, what else was he going to say after you spilled your guts to him?

What Girls Said 5

  • Are you saying you never met him in person? That could be why he hasn't fallen in love with you. He needs to know how he feels about you before you ask him to commit to you.

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  • ... you hadn't even met and you are saying you "fell" for him... of course he ran for the hills. You sound like a crazy girlfriend in my opinion.

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  • You fell for him because he sent you an emoji? I'd be scared too if I were him.

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  • You scared him off. You got attached way too fast. I don't understand how you could get attached to someone you never met in person.

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  • Maybe he didn't like the way you looked on video chat lol

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    • But he would tell me I look pretty :(

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