Saw my ex for the first time in years and don't know what to do?

Saw my ex randomly at a NYE party, we talked until 8am and he said he's changed from who he used to be. Two years ago, he was addicted to everything - sex, drugs, alcohol - all of it, he had a lot of huge problems which really hurt me. Unfortunately, our connection is really spiritual/magnetic and for the last two years of never seeing him I have thought of him every day and felt empty because nobody makes me feel the way he has - i've been in reliable relationships and lived a healthy life but there's always a hole in heart. When i don't talk to him I think about how we felt together every day and it never fades because our connection was so intense.

Seeing him last night we both still feel the exact same even after two years no contact. He wants to be friends, which I really want just do I can see him, but he treated me very bad before when we dated, though claims he has "changed", says he is sober, hit rock bottom, and is doing really well and he still loves me.

What should I do? I blocked him on everything and he said last night he is absolutely going to find a way to message me so he can hopefully see me again. I haven't unblocked him from facebook yet. I really don't know what to do becuase I'm in love with him, always have been, but don't want to grow weak or sacrifice my self worth.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Give it a chance, go slow. Maybe make a schedule/plan and stick to that vs responding to your feelings, that way you will go slower. Before doing this get a good person who knows you to talk to about it such as a counselor or trusted girl friends who can pull you out if it starts going bad.

    It is not easy to recover from anything let alone all of that inside of 2 years. So, I'd start your re-engagement as friends in finding out what he did to heal from that, what the root causes were.

    I don't want to hear about how he "isn't gonna treat you bad again", what I'd want to hear is why he treated you bad and why he's changed. Otherwise, it is someone just spewing BS.

    If he is a narcisist personality, then negate what I said above and don't do it because you will be sucked in, he hasn't changed, and you will get hurt again. People don't change personality attributes fast, and they don't change at all unless they have a strong reason to.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Give him a chance.

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  • love us a tricky thing because we create these bonds with people and sometimes the bonds fade and sometimes they will last a lifetime.
    if you already know you love him and miss him then I would say that you guys can start of slow.
    date and get to know each other again from scratch.

    if he has changed than you will know it.

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