Love failure and suicidal thoughts? how should I advice my best friend?

there's a limit for everything, she's sad all the time because her boyfriend cheated on her. she burned her chest and she cuts her hands. This is really weird. I'm trying my best to make her happy but she's getting on my nerves. it makes me really depressed to see her like that. no matter how many times I tell her that he's not worth her time and love, she doesn't listen to me. she says ok at first and then she says she's going to suicide. I'm really worried, I'm tired of this, she just doesn't listen to me.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't think you can tell her anything to help her. As you said she just doesn't listen. The words simply don't register because she's in that negative mood. In order for her thoughts to change, the mood has to change first. Positive and wise thoughts don't live together with negative feelings. They don't get along at all.

    Don't try to fight her negative thoughts with more positive words, it doesn't work. In order to help her, you have mimic the positivity and openness she can relate to. It's not going to be so much verbal thing, but energetic. If you say her "don't feel or think like that", that's not positive thing to say. Openly (meaning no expectations, no agenda) be with her and listen to her, but don't take the negativity too seriously.

    But there is also big challenge for you. You can't get frustrated and angry at her if she doesn't listen to you or change. So don't be result oriented. The only important thing is to do your best to listen, understand and at the same time provoke positivity in her, but not verbally. Thoughts and beautiful words are not important now, but feelings and emotions. And you have to keep yourself in the positive side.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Catch 22 situation.

    Well, I think you need to help her deviate her attention. She seems to be extremely sensitive.

    If possible , take her out for a place away from home for couple of days, and ensure she is not alone for a single minute, excepting when she has to be alone.

    Inject the idea that she is good and let her show him that he made mistakes.

    Alternately, take her to a counselor.

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  • Just try and continue to be with her. Support her through this. Suggest she seeks professional help, cause these are some serious issues she needs help with. A therapist is such a person to help with that

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  • her boyfriend cheated right, if she suicide, there nothing happened, tell her improve her life, he cheated becasue she is not good for him, tell her to improve her life make him regret for leaving her

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  • Could you maybe match her with a better guy?

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What Girls Said 3

  • It seems as though she has underlying , unresolved issues. Encourage her to seek professional help. There's only so much you can possibly do to help her

    People who self-harm or are suicidal usually have have issues other people are unaware of. They never go to that extreme just because of one incident in their life They usually have long-term issues , and deep rooted underlying emotional pain. She needs to deal with the underlying cause first

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  • She needs help u need to tell her parents or some grown up like a school counselor even if it's just a threat she needs help cuz she is self harming and u can't b the only one trying to keep her happy and handling her moods too that's unhealthy for u too go to a grown up that u know will help even if it's not her parents the councilor or school nurse should b able to help most people who r suicidal aren't going to ask for help it'll only get worse I speak from experience of a loved one going through same thing

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  • I would talk to her parents if they don't know (I know it's not the best thing to do as a best friend) or take her to doctors, nothing else I could think of, she needs help...

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