In your last break-up, who got to keep your mutual friends?

Often in a break up, your relationship with your ex is not the only causality. You also tend to lose friends too. In most relationships, if they were your friends before the relationship, they usually stay that way, but what about those mutual friends you both made during the course of your relationship?

  • All of our mutual friends became Team "My Ex"
    25%(6)25%(9)Vote25%(3)
  • All of our mutual friends became Team "Me"
    12%(3)14%(5)Vote17%(2)
  • Some of our mutual friends became Team "My Ex," and some stayed, "Team Me"
    38%(9)36%(13)Vote33%(4)
  • My ex and I are friends now and still share our mutual friends
    25%(6)25%(9)Vote25%(3)
Select a gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Guy

  • My ex and I don't talk anymore, all of her friends are still friends of mine. We mostly hung out around her group, I'm sure my friends would be friendly with her if she wanted it but they didn't know her that well.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Mostly him because I met them through him, and the friends that were mine in the beginning just never contacted him again

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What Guys Said 8

  • In the last big break-up, I let her have them all -- the whole army I had built up over the years, carefully joining one group of friends to another as the organizer. I started off with just a handful of people and built it to the point of hundreds to where we were renting out entire night clubs just for our group to party.

    She started off with no friends and as a shy and lonely person, so I introduced them all to her. They welcomed her in the group and she was so happy there. I felt like she was becoming healthier and happier.

    After we broke off the engagement, I couldn't bear to see her and I didn't want some divide to occur, so I moved away and started over from scratch. I was having a hard time getting over her anyway. Just walking around the streets around my apartment made me miss all the footsteps and conversations we had along the exact same paths.

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    • Hmm sorry, this post reads back oddly. It's missing a lot of context and wrapped in sentiment.

      Anyway, I let her have the whole lot, and kind of had two dreams crushed at once. I had this weird dream of building the largest group of people who know each other possible and worked hard for years organizing events on weekends so that one branch of my network could meet with another and fuse together. So it wasn't just like giving up friends but giving up this army I was growing and expanding over the years -- a strange obsession of mine.

  • we never talk but our mutual friends act like nothing ever happened, or at least on my side of things

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  • lol, well if they are true friends, they wouldn't take sides.

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    • That's not necessarily true. Thankfully I've not had to choose sides except for in one instance. I was friends with a husband and wife; met the couple through work. We were really good friends until the surprising (to me anyway) break-up happened and I found out the reasons why which were just reprehensible on his part. Didn't actually believe he could do what he did, but it was confirmed and from that point, I just morally couldn't be friends with him anymore. Friendship should never taken for granted. You don't just stay friends with people with a free pass card just because you called yourselves friends at one time.

  • We only had 2 mutual friends. We both remained friends with one of them and the he ended up dating the other, who I'm still friends with. They broke up though

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  • didn't really have any mutual friends. I had to comment and post this video tho : ) enjoy

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LP7FVn2MZ6Q

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  • Since she introduced me to them her.

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  • We didn't have any mutual friends.

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  • They always come to my team

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What Girls Said 14

  • I'm not 5, I'm not going to beg or ask people to pick a side. in my opinion if they are our friends then they will remain our friends. I would hope that people would be more mature than to feel they have to pick a side.

    If someone wants to be friends with my ex (who lied and cheated on me) than be my friend, then they can have that person as their friend. If they want to talk crap about me, or to be mad at me, then that's fine. I don't need negative people in my life.

    I'm not going to bash my ex when I'm hanging out with one of the mutual friends. Out of respect for their friendship. I would just hope they would have the same respect for me.

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    • It's usually not so cut and dry, I've found. For example, a couple were my friends but after the break-up they hated each others guts and could not be civil. When our friends would have parties or something, there was this intense drama all the time. They also wanted to know what each other was doing. It was just awkward for everyone, so it ended up being a combo of some people just gravitating towards a friendship with one or the other and then he sort of said, I don't want anything to do with her which in turn included our friends group. I and a few friends still tried to hang with him separately, but he made everything about her, bad mouthing her, etc... which is SUPER AWKWARD. This is why I think a lot of people are forced by circumstance to choose, not because they just decide, hey our friendship is over out of the blue. Some couples remain civil and it's cool for everyone.

    • It sucks when things go down that way. I guess that's part of the reason I'm not as close to some of my friends as I was before. I just got sick of the fighting and choosing. A few of my friends dated each other, and when they broke up tried to tell other people who they could be friends with. Well that didn't go over so well with me. So I just distanced myself.

      I get it when dramatic things happen, it's hard to be friends with both sides. Especially if the person wants to find out what the other is doing.

  • thinking of my most recent ex, we remained on speaking terms and still share friends/acquaintances.

    ex #2: we each got a few~ he got the bar crew and i got the gamers (who i was closer to anyway, so it worked out).

    ex #3: most of our mutual friends took his side, though a couple stuck by me; those who didn't later discovered that what i'd been trying to tell them all along was 100% true (that he was a cheater and a con artist who was stealing money from his roommates).

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  • We didn't have mutual friends. In one relationship, we had some friends but 1 was my friend who became his pal, so, she stayed cordial but loyal to me. And the other wasn't really my friend, everyone just thought we were so she kept him, haha.

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  • Truth is all my friends hated my ex, so they stayed team ME. I didn't like any of my ex's friends. I found them immature and annoying and disrespectful of our relationship. So, I didn't care to share any of our friends.

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  • He kept them because I moved across the country (unrelated to the breakup.. it was for work lol)

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    • I never understood why people would move for a career. I own a business and I would disrespectfully tell an employer to go forget themselves.

    • @alfonsosloan45 it was a my dream job in my dream location. And they paid for my relocation.

  • well on my situation is different because my boyfriend died so i'm still close with his friends and family

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  • I'm not friends of ex but our mutual friends are still friends of both of us:)

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  • my ex and I still keep in touch since we used to be best friends plus we have a kid together so more or less we still have the same circle of friends

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  • Considering my ex beat me and no one likes women beaters I kept the friends. He lost them

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  • My ex introduced me to his friends but I won't be talking to them anymore since they to pick sides and they will pick his without wanting to hear anything from me.

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  • I'm getting all the friend only his best friend still talk to him

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  • some are with him and some are with me

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  • In my last relationship he ended it but wanted to stay friends. I declined because I still cared about him and wanted more than just a friendship. Over time my feelings faded and I could see how wrong he was for me.

    Out of the blue, he messaged saying he missed chatting to me and wanted to still stay friends. I said that I would . I knew my feelings had faded so I was able to be friends. That was short lived though , because I realized I didn't like him as a person anymore. I couldn't view him as a friend. So I cut contact

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  • My Ex lost his friend while dating me, they didn't like me so my friends became his friends and when we broke up I fought for my friends to stay his friends and be there for him even while we weren't really at a friend place yet now 15 years later we are great friends. If my Husband and I split, I'd still want my friends to be there for him and be his friends, I'd want us to eventually be best friends.

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    • It was weird for my friends at first with my Ex cause they instinctually choose me but I am leave no man behind kind of person.

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