What to do? He says one day we might part ways, yet loves me dearly?

So I have been dating this guy for three years now, and it's been great, we are the same person but different too, we see the same goals, adore each other just the way they are, and hardly EVER even argue.

Yet I always knew he wasn't sharing something with me. He came from a semi-rough childhood, and haD two crazy relationships before me. He's a nice guy who tried to love them with all his heart and ended up getting dumped for no reason.

Finally I got it out of him that ever since the day he started dating me I have been the girl he had always wanted, BUT he has always feared that he might have to separate from me and go out in the world to see what it's like to be in different places, jobs, and relationships.

In other words, I'm his perfect girl, but he feel like he has unfinished goals. He said he doesn't know what to do because he loves me so much and if he did let me go he's afraid he would never get me back again, and so he doesn't know what to do.

Meanwhile I'm over here, now waiting for that day that my heart will be broken, and I can't understand it at all. Why would he let me go if I'm everything he ever wanted?
Is it commitment issues because of how his past lovers treated him?
What the hell am I supposed to do? I've spent three years with this guy, I love everything about him, if he asked me to marry him tomorrow I'd say yes.
... yet apparently there's the possibility that I may be dumped because I don't fit in with his plans for live and gaining experience.

What is your take? What is his thought process here, help me to understand better so I can prepare for what comes?
What can I do? What SHOULD I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I thought he would say he'll fight the whole world for you but he's afraid that this relationship won't last?

    a guy who truly loves you, will know your worth from day one and he'll never leave you for something better.
    you don't have to live in fear of the failure in that relationship.
    that relationship is insecure just walk away.

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    • He loves me dearly, I can tell it's not just a player and I'm a pawn, however he feels like he is missing out on stuff if he wasn't tied down in a relationship like jobs at sea across the world, or how to flirt and gain new skills.
      I understand a little, because I'm still inexperienced in flirting or dating. But I'm not going to leave him to learn new things. So that's the disconnect, and I don't know if I should just walk away before he dumps me, or stay and see if he really meant what he said.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Sounds like you both have different life goals. He's basically wanting some time to go off find himself have some freedom etc. But the grass isn't always greener on the other side and he knows that so he's torn between holding on to you and not. I've no doubt that if he knew for certain you would wait for him and if he ever decided to come back you would accept him then he'd be off like a shot but life can't be like that. He might never come back and what do you do then. The only real desicion you can make is to end it for him otherwise you wait and see what he decides. But ask yourself is it really gonna work now or will you be forever looking over your shoulder wondering when he's gonna change his mind and take off. If you can't let him go and believe me I know how hard that is when you love someone I would make it clear to him that if he leaves your going to move on and he doesn't get to come and go in and out of your life like that. You deserve someone who WANTS to be with you more then ANYTHING!!! And I know you think when a relationship ends you won't get over it but you will it just takes time
    This scanaeio reminds me of a song By beautiful south it's called a little time and basically it's same thing guy asks to go find himself etc and realised the girls what he wants goes back to her and she's moved on. If you like music it might give you some insite

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What Guys Said 1

  • I guess stick it out until the end. Or keep your options open to. It's a tough call and choice to make. Im sorry this has happened to you.

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