How to get over your crush when he's your best friend?

i fell in love with one of my best male friends and there were quite some moments where i thought he likes me too. he studies with me but he's super afraid of rejection and never asks girls out and he hardly had any girlfriends. 2 weeks ago or so i asked him if he has ever seen me more than a friend because i had a walk with a guy and i had to think of him (it was online because we are in 2 different cities now for 2 months and yeah i know it's not a big confession but it still came surprisingly for him), he said "it would be best if i am completely honest, right? no" and the next day he was like "i am sorry it came so surprisingly that i didn't know what else to answer, it doesn't have to be awkward now, we can talk about anything" he wants to be a consultant soon which means he will only be in the city for weekends, i love him from the bottom of my heart, i can talk with him about anything and he is always very open and talks about feelings with me, so i don't know how to get over him?


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What Guys Said 3

  • Realize a crush is just a fantasy and dream you build up with little mutual participation on his part (not even going on a date together, never having kissed, etc.)

    If you want to recover from a shattered dream then easiest way is to build new ones. It doesn't have to be around guys even. All you have to do is be passionate about something that motivates you every day when you wake up.

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    • That said, another strategy is not completely give up hope. If he doesn't see you that way, it typically means he's not sexually attracted to you.

      In my case, if any remotely attractive girl looks quite sexy to me on a given day and starts grinding her ass on me while teasing me, I'm suddenly going to become sexually attracted to her even if I originally didn't see her that way.

      I'm not exactly suggesting to do something this crude, but there might be a way to implant the seed of sexual desire in him (and hope it blossoms towards something more romantic than just that).

      The way you just opened up and asked him if he sees you as more as a friend is kind of awkward and heavy. That tends to invite a painful response unless he was absolutely feeling the same way. It's safer to do these things more in person and when you're close, and maybe not even verbally but just snuggling up next to him and kissing him, e. g.

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    • he shared a flat with a girl which looks like claudia schiffer for 3 years and nothing ever happened , they are living together again and she has a boyfriend

    • I see, he sounds like a very unusual one. It might be better to try to get over him. If so, it tends to help if you find something to do that really interests you... not an immediate gratification but something you have to work towards -- a dream.

  • With your situation.. You're fucked my friend. You either repress it or show those feelings

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  • This will ve friendzone

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