Questions about marriage?

So, I am a 30 year old man married to a woman 5 years my senior. we have been together for several years now and things between us have sizzled. until recently... in the past year we have fallen farther and farther apart, particularly since my brother passed away and I had my major hospital stay. my wife has found it easy to get attention from men outside of our household but she has not cheated in anyway.

On a daily basis I find myself doing the mundane daily duties around the house. our nanny cooks the meals and takes care of our babies while I am at work but when I come come I am the one to handle the children. meanwhile my wife stays up late nights and sleeps in, in the morning. she watches tv all day and doesn't help.

I have felt the urge to begin the process of separation but want the very best for our children which are yet, very young. I would like any input on this matter.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Okay here is what I just have to say to you since there is no way to us to basically talk to her. Communicate your problems. Get her away from the TV, and seriously tell her what is bothering you. Knowing that you two are becoming very lazy with boundaries in your marriage is bad. However, as much as I understand the stress and the life change's of you losing a family member and having to be in the hospital for a while is NO excuse for her to do what she did. At this point, you don't know if she did commit adultery. Every woman at some point get's unwanted attention from men, but it's our job to be responsible with how we handle it, NOT condone it. She shouldn't be staying up all night and just sleeps in. Does she not have a job? At least work at home? Why is she not raising and taking care of her kids? Why is their a nanny doing her job? So unless she has a serious medical condition or is disabled, again WHY? If she can stay up and watch TV but do all of that, she can help out around the house, let alone raise her children. Something is not right, and I believe that she isn't telling you about the change and you may not like it. You need to confront her about this behavior but in an appropriate manner. Until you get to the bottom of this, separation is not going to work on the unwilling. She probably doesn't even care.

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What Girls Said 5

  • You're going to have to have the come to Jesus talk and let her know how you feel, see if she has some issues herself, or feelings that are leaving her deoressed maybe, something that's keeping her non-productive. But you guys need to talk, put everything on the table, discuss what needs to change to save what you have for your kids. If it can't be saved then decide what you guys need to do to make this easiest for your kids.

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  • If your wife does not contribute to the marriage you should divorce her. As a mother she has a responsibility either to work or to take care of the kids. If she is doing neither - she is not a proper candidate for a relationship.

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  • Honestly try to have a heart to heart conversation don't take her to dinner or have that conversation at home, take her for a walk ( i know it's cold ) but take her anyways and talk to her be open minded, listen to everything she has to say, be more attentive and more patient because to me it sounds like she's giving up on you guys and the only thing that's holding her back is your kids.

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  • Did you even talk to her about this?

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    • several time actually. she becomes defensive and a fight ensues.

    • Tell her you don't think you can keep 27th this marriage if she continues to be this way.

    • No 2754th*** typo

  • have you talked to her about it? maybe you should go and see a marriage counselor 1st

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    • I have spoken with her. she becomes defensive and a fight ensues. the same occurs when a counselor is brought up.

    • sorry to hear that but it's best to separate then

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