For your most difficult break up, how long was the relationship and long did it take you to heal from it?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • My most challenging break-up was with a girl I dated for three years and the half, 9 years ago. It was my very first break-up and the most painful beyond imagination. I didn't see it coming, not even the slightest clue.

    She was the most angelic person who would never hurt a fly, let alone a human being. So I thought! Opened my email one evening, there I saw an email from her, breaking up with me. In fact, I had to peer on the PC monitor to ensure I was reading and understanding every word and sentence.

    To say I was stunned is an understatement because I couldn't reconcile the content of the email and her behaviour a week before the email. She had asked me to accompany her to uni and then to her apartment. It was all classic Romeo and Juliet moment.

    Fast-forward: a week after she is breaking up with me? She must be crazy or joking, unwilling to accept reality. I spent 6 weeks fighting to win her back to no a avail. In fact, it was stupid of me as it only heightened my pain. It took me up to a year to fully wipe her out of my mind.

    The breakup changed my view about women and dating forever, and turned me me into a serial womaniser for six years. She was the last girl I ever said "I love you" to.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • 6 year long relationship I moved on fast, but still to this day think of him an miss him never got total over it an o was the one that called it off

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What Guys Said 14

  • Hi, I met a girl in a 7-Eleven she walked up to me and her eyes we're so beautiful and she said nothing to me and I was so mad at myself for not saying anything to her. A week later I saw her and introduce myself she had been on my mind all week she was 9 months pregnant I'm a Pisces and she's a Scorpio. If you believe in astrology Pisces Scorpio is the most powerful bonded compatible type couple the very next time I seen her I was so excited my heart was pounding I've never believed in love at first sight. But for some reason her and I had almost everything in common and realize that we should have met a long time before this because we had pretty much had the same stomping rounds through a whole lifetime meaning we pretty much lived in the same area. Now for five years and ending this past August was the most difficult relationship to get over, I just did not like her speaking to her ex-boyfriend who was 20 years her Elder damn near 60 year old man. I raised her daughter which was our daughter pretty much she knows no other man in her life other than myself and a separating was very traumatic, this difficult dealing with her having a substance abuse problem as well this past Christmas Eve she showed up to my house and a long coat and was not wearing anything underneath. Obviously we all know where that went I had butterflies up to my neck it made for a beautiful evening, but that was it it just extended the length of pain that I'm going through. Music is painful to listen to. I miss her everyday. I've never been so close to somebody sexually in my life I was so comfortable with her and she was so comfortable with me we communicated very well with one another therefore only made love to one another we literally built our love deeper and deeper. This Rhythm of Life that I've lived for the past 60 months is very hard for me to get over. I had to move out of my condo too many memories. I have not slept with anyone since her it's strange I'm 35 it's harder for me to go from one person to another person come I guess the only thing that helps me get over is being flirtatious and having people flirt with me back it makes me feel like I'm young again and maybe I'm still good looking. It's going to take a little while for me to meet someone again and I have learned what special qualities that a person I'm with needs to have. I will always love her. It will be difficult not to mention her to my next girlfriend because women don't want to hear this stuff

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  • 3 years
    It's only been 2 months I'm still fully over it. I really miss her from time to time

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  • I was with my ex wife 25 years and 4 days.
    We were married 20 year, 4 months and 10 days
    The divorce was final on January 10, 2014
    She wanted the divorce, not me.
    I tried everything I could to keep us together.
    I found out later she had been cheating at least the last 3yrs.
    her words to me were " I never loved you"
    How long did it take to heal? I will let you know if it ever happens.

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    • Wow! I thought my experience is worst not knowing yours surpasses mine.

  • relationship was 5 or 6 months, and it took me at least 5 months to get over it. but im glad i had that experience, because i learned many important lessons from that

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  • 4 years. It was very painful to break up. For the most part, I have moved on. But every once in a while, I will hear a song or something will remind me of her and that hurt comes back again.

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  • My most difficult breakup was with my wife of 7yrs. Not because I couldn't get over her but I couldn't get over the fact that I blew my whole prime with her and she just went cold when the chips were down.

    I'll never get over it because when I went to get back in the dating game I found out that all modern women have turned shallow. Every single one. There is not one single women who is not deceptive.
    Since I'm not excessively rich, tall, powerful, famous, popular, or good looking I'm considered absolutely worthless to all women except total white trash or very unattractive 300lb women.

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    • I ak sorry you had to gomthrough that, you deserve a wife that stays with you through it all and for your ex tomhave been better towards you. You are worth more than gold in God's eyes, don't forget that!

    • And that is not true either. god has higher values on people and others that are just pawns. A good example of a pawn would be me and an example of a higher value would be Denzel Washington.

  • 4 years.

    Broke up, 4 months now.
    Had to take mutual decisions, things to talk about.

    Was awkward.
    Now its okay.
    I would not lie.. Its tough.

    Just get over with it.

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    • I assume, you have broken up lately?

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    • lol high five, thanks :)

  • For me mine was with a girl I met when I was 27 we had both partied early in life but we clicked instantly... We dated 5 years... did everything together, graduated school, got a house. lived together for 2 years.. I have been with many women but never loved them like I loved her... She got pregnant and we lost the baby at 6 months.. I was in such a mind set and we were both happy going to plan to get married and everything.. but after we lost the baby it wasn't the same for either of us...

    I ended up pushing her away... never cheated or anything. She was a good girl.. I have never really gotten over her.. I will always love her in my heart. as a person just not in love with her any more...

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  • 6 months and i didn't until now because dating sucks

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  • It was 5 years and I never "healed" from it, I keep it on my mind as a valuable reminder to never again waste more of my life on something that isn't worth it.

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  • It was only 6 months and I still am not over it and it was a year ago.

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  • I never had a love to break up with.

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  • I met the almost woman of my dreams a few years ago. She was independent, smart, giving, flexible, thoughtful, fun, etc. She also was extremely in love with me. She constantly told me how lucky she was to meet a guy like me. She showed me off to her friends, family and co-workers.

    I loved everything about this woman except there was one major problem; I just wanted that physically attracted to her. She was pretty, but the spark was never there. I just didn't look forward to getting in bed with her. I hated myself for that, but I had no control over it. Attraction just isn't a choice.

    Anyway I never wanted to hurt her outright. I decided to act depressive and boring as way to let her down with "gentle hands". I wanted her to lose interest in me to make it easier for her to get over me.

    My plan worked and she dumped me (although a part of me wanted her to). I never cheated on her, hit her or did anything over the top. Truth is I wanted to stay friends but she would have nothing of it. I lowered her interest that far.

    A few weeks later after my breakup and ON MY BDAY I found out I had a HPV infection. I was angry, ashamed and terrified (I now know it's no big deal). After some professional advice and three weeks of debating what to do I decided to confront her about it. It was the last thing I wanted to say (I realize the chances of reconciling would go from slim to none) but I knew it was the right thing to do. I was genuinely concerned about her health.

    She told me she got vaccinated right before she met me. She acted relieved but did not show ONE FUCKING OUNCE of sympathy for what I was going through. She basically told me "tough luck, you're an ex". Coming from a woman I loved very deeply as a person this was by FAR the worst heartbreaking experience of my entire life. She never apologized (when we dated she would apologize about any mistake all the time). She had plenty of time to piece together how stupid and callus her reaction was, but she never reached out about it

    I've finally gotten better since then (took 3 long years). I almost wrote her a letter telling her about the mental agony she put me through, but at the end I forgive her. She's also very serious with another guy right now (wouldn't surprised if they get married). While that's none of my business I have to come to grips with the fact I'll never get closure for that incident. This one was hard, very hard.

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    • I am not sure if you really loved her, it sounded like you knew she was not the one for you but with the HPV diagnosis you second guessed yourself. You did the right thing because if she could be that callous for whatever reason, imagine if you may have married her! I am a firn believer that when people rrally care, they piut effort even when things get difficult and when you commit to someome, you need someone who thinks like this and she seems to gave up albeit that you did before she did. There is a dating website for thise with HPV I think, and the vaccine is also so girls will not catch it. There can be a right lady for you that you are attracted to and she is attracted to you, heart and physically so do not settle and do not lose hope!

    • I have actually dated and slept with several woman after her. Most of them are in their 20s and vaccinated. I was honest with very single one about the HPV. None of them cared (one said she actually liked me MORE because I was so honest). it's really not a big deal. I only had one tiny symptom anyway and NOTHING sense. I'm actually relieved I didn't get something worse (herpes) HPV is very common and 80% of the sexually active adult population has it but very few get symptoms. I think the stress from the break up caused the break out.

      You are right about the second guess part. It actually hit on some much deeper issues with me. I finally realized that she subconsciously reminded me of my domineering, psychologically abusive and controlling mother when she said "tough luck". For the longest time I had no idea why that triggered me so bad but I believe that's it.

      I still always wanted a conversation about closure on that. Not happening if she gets engaged.

  • I've never been "in love"

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What Girls Said 4

  • 4 years of a relationship, 1 and a half year to completely heal.

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  • I didn't, I got him back!

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  • Fifteen years... I think now four years later I'm truly over it.

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  • I had only one break up, i got over it by time ( 2yrs relationship)

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