Should I break up or give him another chance?

I just found out that my boyfriend of 4 years has been "talking " to another girl on a secret cover me app for about 4 months now. He said that she just had texted him. Then when he was in San Francisco on work they just met up for a drink twice. They had dated about 10 years ago and they were just catching up. Normally if he would have just said something I think I would have been ok with it, maybe not happy but at least he was honest. However that's not the case... I found out because he was texting her when he didn't know I was behind him. So he showed me his phone, there wasn't much on there but she did text I love you and miss you. He said she always says that to him and it's not a big deal. He said nothing happened. He also told her at that moment that he was done and asked her not to contact him again. I am also now welcome to look at his phone any time he said. I asked him why? He said he thinks it was just an ego thing. He has apologized many times and he's said he is very worried that I'm am done with him. I just don't know what to do...
Back ground: when I met him he was unbeknownst to me he was seeing someone else but ended that shortly after we met and I do know he has not contacted her since.
I asked him to give me this weekend to think about it so I'm just hoping for some thoughts/ advice... I'm just so confused and heart broken.
Thank you


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Oh yea baby... look at my phone anytime
    *turns to the side and pulls out the trap phone*
    lol... i dont know girl... as long as you can find out that nothing was DONE... you should let it go.
    I dont give a crap (and you shouldn't too) about words flying back and forth... as long as nothing was DONE... its all good.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • He broke your trust. There's also the element of he knew what he was doing was wrong, hence the secret cover me app. What's to say he won't do something he knows is wrong in the future and just not tell you. And when you find out apologize and say never again? Also, he only said he was done after you found out. What's to say he hasn't found another hidden app and told her, I didn't mean what I said. For me, I wouldn't be able to trust him, especially given that history of seeing someone else shortly before he met you. But the question isn't whether or not I would trust him, the question is, do you trust him? If you don't, what would it take for you to trust him again, is it something that the two of you can fix?

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    • I did trust him... but I'm just not sure now. I don't know how to fix this, any ideas?

    • What would it take to trust him again? Full access to his phone, e-mail, etc? Finding out why he felt the need to talk to this girl and hide it from you? I'm not you so I don't know what you would need to trust in him and to feel secure again in the relationship. But try to think about what you might need. After that, you should talk to him and see if he's receptive to what you need and if any compromises can be made.

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What Guys Said 5

  • well if he has been good to you and has nt done anything to give you any doubt till now maybe it was just a friendly chat. i mean i have friends that women that tell me they love you all the time and there husbands/ boy friends have yet to come to my house with a gun or anything. it could purely innocent. it was just an over sigh on his part i imagine because i know i forget stuff all the time and kick my self often. lol
    innocent

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  • Dump his ass and never look back

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  • End it immediately.

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  • Give him another chance

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  • Leave him he is not worth it he's acting like a jerk you need a better guy then that

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What Girls Said 0

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