Guys, was it a mistake to text him asking if his mind is clearer now so that I can decide for myself?

Things were going great these last two months. He was behaving exactly like a man who is really interested in you should behave. Unfortunately, we could not meet much during 4 weeks because of our conflicting schedules. No rushing, we even waited for sex to be sure we liked each other as persons before getting more involved. He was talking about committing if things kept going that well. I was no mystery to his friends and he was seeking their opinion about me. They approved of me. He broke up with his ex of two years last summer (7/8 months ago) and he had dated since then. However, he said it was disappointing and he was gonna give up on dating until he met me. He was so excited to meet me because I felt real and sincere. He admires my way of thinking, he laughs a lot with me and he finds me extremely sexy, good looking and he opened up to me about personal stuff (I. e. His problems). I sincerely think he felt the connection but we did not have enough time to make memories. He changed his behaviour in one night but I did not want to invade his space so I pretended everything was fine and I asked to meet because I wanted to make him smile and think of something else. He said he had no time, he had to take care of something first and we would have met once things were better. I said no problem and I contacted him three days later to give him some info but I did not mention meeting. He thanked me and added we would meet soon. That was weird so I said that if he needed space I would give it to him for some time, that however I have feelings for him and asked whether he wanted to reassure me or tell me he had changed his mind. He said he was sorry and that he really liked me. I asked what is going on he said that his ex is back and she said what he has wanted to hear in years and they are not together but he is confused. I thanked him for his honesty and went no contact 2 weeks. Today I asked whether things are clearer so that they can be it for me too. Mistake?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Honestly I think you are handling this situation better than some other girls.
    I have also some moments where I need to be alone with my thoughts and sort things out before I come back to the living so to speak.
    What I appreciate in such situations, and this is different for every person, is not getting "nagged" by others while I want to sort out things adding up to my misery. (I am not implying you were nagging)
    What you could have done differently if I was this guy is not putting you or the relationship in the focus but instead just writing something along the lines you are hoping he is well and maybe writing something about stuff you did have fun doing while you couldn't meet.
    Agreed this could be totally the wrong thing to do with him but it would have worked with me so I would have known you are not miserable because of me but you still want to keep at my side without me being required to answer your message or worrying that otherwise it will hurt you.
    I suggest to put your mind to rest when it comes to this topic and not seeing him does not be something new for you two so give him some time.

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    • I am miserable because I have done things with my dad and friends and facebook shows it. I was just afraid that texting him how he is doing and talking about me would be a bad idea so I preferred being direct. In any way I wish to add up stress on him. I just want it to be clear that while I will not wait years I am sincerely interested in him. If he is happier with her I am happy because I think he is a good guy but at the same time I wish to fight for my cause the right way. That is why I gave him time and space. Maybe he already told me he did not want to see me again by saying it fucked with his head but I cannot know for sure. He just said he is confused and it might be true.

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    • I definitely want to get closure and I hope I will be able to not let my emotions show. I believe there is a good chance he will confirm that they are bsck together. In that case, I would prefer him to tell me by text. No need to meet because there would not be much to talk about. How should I behave when I see him? Can I just smile and be in a decent mood or should I be deadly serious and withdrawn?

    • Why don't you ask him what it is about so you can figure whether or not you want to meet.
      I would be serious and the mood you are in. should you meet him you can let him know that this behaviour is not what you expect and therefore you made your decision.
      No need to sugar coat it.

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