My ex broke up with me several weeks ago and even though I didn't want to break-up and feel hurt and confused, it wasn't a "bad" break-up. I feel hurt that he hasn't contacted me to see how I'm dealing with the break-up, to show that even if he didn't feel I was the one, that he cared about me as person because we spent a year of our lives together.
He has contacted me a couple of times, but only to relay info about the v-ball team we are still on together. He has kept texts purely about "business" and hasn't mentioned the breakup or asked any personal questions.
Ultimately I know it doesn't matter, I just think it would make it easier for me to deal with the break-up if I felt that he cared that I am hurting. Is this an unrealistic expectation? Should I contact him and tell him that I feel hurt that he hasn't contacted me on a more personal level?
Trihill is right, it is difficult to separate friendship and love if it's in one person. When my ex broke up with me he said that he considers me his bestfriend. I accepted the breakup and tried to fulfill a promise to be always friends with him but it felt like he's not even treating me like a friend. It hurts to be downgraded to just be friends especially in the beginning of a break up so try to stay away from him. Don't expect him to give you special treatment, even treatment that he normally gives his friends.
Something to know, when people break up, they break up...you can't separate friendship from love because it's bottle into one person. Lose one and both go. You are going to hurt since you have to see him at volleyball, the memory of him will have some impact to your emotional and physical inclinations to him. Since he broke up with you, it's up to him to put the pieces back together for a second-chance, and he should be contacting you. If not, then move on.
thats just his way of dealing with the breakup and too be honest I take break-ups that way as well I try and distance myself as much as possible... he has to contact you about vball so of course he is gonna keep it very cold and businesslike.. he is probably a wreck inside.. but showing that would be a sign of weakness...
just give him space.. just because he isn't on the phone asking about how your going doesn't mean he doesn't care.. it just means he is going through his own thing... so be kind and understanding.. its sad when a break up happens.. for both people..
Give him just a little more time. Everyone is different in these matters. I would cut of ALL contact.( I don't know if you can, you say you play volleyball together) Don't answer his calls. see what that does. I wish you the best of luck hon.