My bf's 15 yr old son doesn't like coming over. We've been together for 41/2 years. His decision to not come over anymore was when we went on vacations he's very jealous and needy. Something my boyfriend knows and acknowledges
His ex (the mom) worked really hard at alienating their father son relationship, which was super strong and good. Court, CPS, etc. all investigations brought on by her were dropped and the last one all supervisors brought everyone into a room for an "intervention." The end result was mom to encourage visits, counseling, and for parents to go to co-parenting class. Counseling was good until counselor and son thought I should come to the next session. All counseling ending after that. Son now says he won't ever be a part of his dad's "new family."
Almost to the day she requested a modification. of support based on time spent with dad. Last week she told him via text they are moving over 2 hrs away and he can't do anything about it because he doesn't see him enough. He called me upset after the texts.
My boyfriend has tried everything. Counseling, weekly visits, and most times the requests get ignored. The only time they respond is when they want or need something. Example, Christmas we got texts and emails from her saying God put it on her heart for healing and wanted us to go to church with them. All dates we said we could they weren't available. All the while we were given a Christmas list with gifts that exceeded $1200. Guess what; not one church service and not one text or email since Christmas. So much hope that this will change all to realize once again we were used. Every time he reaches out to his dad it's because he wants to have dinner at the mall and of course wants a game. His dad had tickets to Kong and he didn't respond until the day of and said, I'll go only if we see this. And he does because he misses his son.
I have yet to respond or communicate with my boyfriend about what he told me and I'm not sure if I should even get involved.
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Since your boyfriend is aware of the issues, I do not think you should get involved. If your boyfriend wants to talk about it, have someone listen, then that's fine. But I don't think you should take a very active role in this since this is family problems that he, his ex, and his son need to work out. I think what you should do is offer him support, ask him if he wants to talk, if he doesn't, don't push him. It would be different if there were things he was unaware of, but as you said, "His decision to not come over anymore was when we went on vacations he's very jealous and needy. Something my boyfriend knows and acknowledges." hence the reason why I don't think you need to take an active role.1
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