Rebound sex doesn't make me feel better it makes me feel worse?

Every time I have sex with a guy I always seem to visualize my ex. I don't do it on purpose it just happens when I close my eyes. Then after , I realize I truly did not enjoy it and it makes me miss him even more. Do rebounds make you miss your ex even more because it sure as hell is making me miss him like crazy. (Long term, serious relationship)


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Most Helpful Guy

  • right. thats why it's called rebound sex, it's not supposed to feel GOOD

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What Guys Said 7

  • I did that before by accident. I thought I had moved on and then only when things got heated up, I found myself comparing the girl to my ex and felt guilty about it. Worse, afterwards, I find myself missing my ex more than ever, like it reset some of my progress in terms of getting over her.

    Some people talk about rebounds working like a charm. I don't think they work so well in cases where you started really falling madly for your ex and thought of him/her as "the one". In that case your mind makes him/her the idea of what is an "ideal" partner, and everyone will end up seeming worse and lacking since they're not your ex.

    For me it helped me to move on to stop focusing on girls for a while and just focus on interests and friends: putting yourself out there and trying to find things to get excited about doing every day when you wake up. At one point you might find yourself no longer thinking about your ex at all, even when you're alone and idle, and that's when you have truly moved on.

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    • did you even like the girl? Did you cut the rebound off?

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    • what was your flashpoint?

    • That was kind of the case with me. With that ex of mine, I fell madly for her and she seemed to do so for me as well. We even promised one time to each other that nothing would ever separate us. I thought we were invulnerable that way, that nothing could split us apart.

      But when we got engaged and started living together, things changed. For a start, she had anemia and I didn't realize how bad it got when we were just dating and staying over at each other's places from time to time. When we started living together in my apartment, I saw this most highly irritable side of her every morning and, over time, I lost my patience and we started arguing often. I lacked the maturity back then to handle it and deescalate things and started to also develop insecurities about losing her.

      It started turning into one of those relationships where we were on the verge of breaking up all the time and making up. One final day around Christmas, we broke up and didn't make up -- a final argument.

  • Sounds like you're being a dick to the guy that you're with.

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    • Sadly I don't mean to but I am. I'm cutting him off and never want to talk to him again.

    • you're aware of it but you're still doing it. you haven't really bothered to try. frankly i think you're selfish. you're so self absorbed, you still think you should be trying to get your mind off your ex for your own sake. you should be doing it for him.

  • I STILL remember my first love in its gist, and never got emotionally or physically close all these decades, yes, later. I am still hoping to see her again...

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    • Beautiful

    • I believe you never get over it but get through it.

    • I am learning to. I have the opportunity to use an event mid last year to hard reset. I only a few years, well, one of those two decades back, even realized she was a block to things. Oh damn, I need to progress with fewer mistakes and more privacy

  • My most recent ex, not in the slightest way possible. However, one of my ex's I do miss terribly and anything that we use to do together reminds me of her and it sucks.

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  • You obviously had a great loving and satisfying sexual relationship with your ex.
    Losing a great partner is like suffering the loss of a loved one, you are grieving as if that person was deceased.
    To you, they are no longer in your life, and you will be grieving, it will take time, maybe up to two years to get over a lost relationship that was really good!
    Any attempt to move on to a sexual relationship with others will mean you compare, whether you intend to or not.
    A great relationship is hard to replace, but given time, the memories will fade, and you will move on!

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  • Don't have sex outside of marriage.

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  • tbh, it makes matters worse

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What Girls Said 1

  • I personally refuse to have rebound sec because i know that you have to get over and move on before you can become intomate with someone else even if its just a service call. We aren't made like men so thats why it feels different for us. After a break up with someone i was with for 6.5 years i went two years before doing anything with anyone at all so i know i was ready. Im glad i did it that way.

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