How do you react when your partner discusses breaking up as a topic of conversation?

I've been asked "Do you think our parents would be sad if we broke up?" "What would you be doing if we weren't together?" "What would you do if I cheated on you?" "What are your deal breakers?"

That last question seems okay to ask for boundary reasons, but the more I'm on this subject with a girl the more likely it seems it's going to happen


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Most Helpful Girl

  • 1. Do you think our parents would be sad if we broke up? Not the best question to ask, but I'll file this as morbid curiosity.
    2. What would you be doing if we weren't together? She's likely wondering what impact she has had on your life, or maybe wondering if she's holding you back from doing something you've always wanted to do.
    3. What would you do if I cheated on you? I don't think that's a fair question to ask or an appropriate question to ask. Why is that something you would even wonder about?
    4. What are your deal breakers? Definitely a fair question, it's boundaries and it's also about your goals. For example, if someone's deal breaker is having a family and the other person never wants kids, well, you'd want to know if your goals are aligned before sinking in more time.

    Have you asked her why she's asking these questions? Is she not feeling secure in the relationship, is she having doubts?

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    • I don't ask her these things because people tend to dwell on questions that are negative and they ask themselves why was it asked and then turn to other people for insight similar to this site.

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    • About breaking up. It seems that she has double standards. She told me once how she hated that her ex would look lewdly at her sisters, but then later on she told me her thoughts that she could date my brother because they had more in common and I could date her sister. That made me mad. So I learned from it that I won't ask her the same thing because communication means different things to us. Do you take everything you're asked as not personal?

    • I don't take questions personally, generally I will answer most questions but I will ask why they are being asked if it's a weird question.

      It sounds like your relationship isn't very balanced due to her double standard. I don't think you guys are probably communicating. Her getting really heated up when you bring up the same things she brings up discourages you from talking about certain things that she feels she can talk about. That isn't communication. Communication is an open channel between two people, on your end she's tried her best to close it.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Those questions are usually shit tests, I find them annoying. I'll usually just laugh at it and turn it back on her.

    "What would you be doing if we weren't together?" Living a much better life than I am now.

    "What would you do if I cheated on you?" Hit the club with the boys.

    "What are your deal breakers?" *describes her every attribute*

    If she's going to ask questions like that, I'm just going to have some fun with it.

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    • Lol. Is that first one really a joke? My deal breaker I told her was that if she killed me we're done

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What Girls Said 1

  • No some people are what if people. I bring it up every so often and we have been together for 14years (married almost 10 years) and are def. stayers. I just like to hear what he has to say on the topic.

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What Guys Said 0

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