No contact rule?

My ex dumped me because he wanted to talk to his ex and few other women who had texted him. Yes, he said this. Lol. It was out of nowhere a few days before that he was planning his birthday trip with me and talking about our future together and such and mentioned how he was so grateful and happy that he had me in his life. Anyways, I normally turn to the no contact rule to help myself heal and get over my exes. Cause it works like a charm and helps me get over them quickly. So literally the day he broke me heart I deleted him off social media but I sent him a text asking if had slept with anyone else while he was with me. He said no. Then I said, okay have a great life and he responded with "you 2". Since then I have not contacted him at all. Of course I thought about it but I have never did. It has been almost three weeks now. But for some reason I developed this gut feeling that we are going to get together again. I don't know how but that's just what I feel. I don't know if it's a feeling of hope or not. But, say if I wanted him back should I break down and message him or should I keep the no contact thingy going and see if he contacts me? And tell me if it worked out for you before?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you truly want to heal yourself and move forward, don't text him. Do like what is recommended to anyone after a breakup: spend time with close friends (in your case, preferably female) and family, and find something about yourself to work on and make better. And while you're at it, enjoy being single again and doing things you couldn't do while in the relationship.

    The guy doesn't sound like he knows what he wants. Or he's a player and wants some backup girls on his strings.

    Also, think for a moment: things were going so great, then he suddenly cut you loose for other women. What does it say to him if you come back? You might as well say, "I love drama and turmoil. Take me back so you can b**chslap me again, I like it!" Do you really want to go back to a guy that seconded you for MULTIPLE other women?

    Your "gut instinct" is what I know plenty of player-guys feed on: the idea that a guy who is so flawed can be changed, or that now he knows what he's missing and will become a model-man for you. He won't. Only he will change himself. If there really is a destiny for you two to be together, then you will eventually get back together, and it won't be because of a direct contact after a breakup like this.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • based off past experiences with me and others, don't contact him. He broke up with you to explore other females. Let him. He chose that and don't be available to him when he decides he wants to come back because when he does, there's a 90% chance it's going to be because none of the girls worked out and you're his plan b. Don't be a doormat. Don't think that him leaving and coming back is "fate" it's not. Personal experience with contacting ex, we fell out 2x and both times I reached out to him after about 2 months. We were on good terms after the first time but he didn't want a relationship. I convinced myself that he'd change his mind on day or something but he never did. He treated me like an option and even though I hated it, I still preferred that over him not being in my life... I was stupid lol... the second time we fell out, he disrespected me to others and I shouldn't have wanted him back in my life but I thought about him constantly and took a chance. Reached out and said I wanted to fix things. He had a friend of his call me and the friend left a voicemail saying he doesn't want me, I'm crazy, etc. since that happened, I've honestly been a lot happier. Don't waste too much time on your ex. I spent 7 months stuck on mine and missed a possible blessing (another guy). Allow someone to come into your life and do you right because you're ex won't.

    Hope this helped❀️

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What Guys Said 2

  • Nope don't do it. You'll know it won't work out anyways.

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  • I see all these posts about EXes... Why does my ex not like me? This and that about an ex... should we get back together...

    An EX means.. in the past. In my life, after any break up, an EX is out of my mind. I move on almost immediately and never think of, try to contact, check up on, etc...

    Breakups happen for a reason...

    I'm not talking about someone who moved away... I'm talking about relationships that ended due to cheating, abuse, incompatibility and such...

    Who CARES about an EX? Who cares about what an EX thinks of them?

    Then "breaks"... what's that all about? all this is is an admission you can't commit in a relationship. Taking a vacation from a relationship isn't going to fly.

    ALSO... getting back together after a breakup.. or chasing someone to get back together... sorry folks, the same issues are gonna be there.

    This "closure" What's that about? No such thing... So what? It's over.. there is your closure.

    Move on... where you found one guy/gal, there will always be more.

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    • @moonlight21 Holy rude.

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    • @moonlight21 Ah.. ok :)

    • I don't think it's rude. I think it's very direct and to-the-point. No "sugar coating." Sometimes the truth hurts. But it can't be denied because it's the truth.

What Girls Said 16

  • The no contact rule is just gonna let him hook up with another girl. My ex and I was like that. He dumped me. I played no contact rule deleted him on everything, didn't call or text or speak to him and hoping he'd come back to me but... about 3 weeks later he's got my best friend around his finger. I was pissed because thats when I finally found out they had been doing things behind my back for 3 months of the relationship. I am not longer friends with that girl.

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    • Are you serious? That's a horrible thing on his part and that friends part too. Did they start dating or were they just continuing to mess around?

    • @xxmamichulaxx they ended up dating until she cheated on him with one of my old friends. And now she is with some country dude.

  • You should keep the no contact rule, and even if you end up together again, it will be good to fall in love with him again knowing his qualities and flaws.
    Have a lovely day ❀️

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  • Your gut is probably right. For me this works: dont force it. Because I feel like if you'd contact him now, you would force it. If you feel like ok yeah im fine by myself, no hard feelings and would be nice to just talk, then contact him. He will get that vibe and it works, at least it did for me. good luck!!

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    • Thanks for your opinion. However, I get nervous sometimes. Cause like I mentioned when I use the no contact rule it helps me heal and get over. And yes in the past multiple exes have came back but I have always denied them. Lol. But does it sound bad that I was him to hurry and contact to me therefore I won't have time to fully get over him?

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    • How did it work for you if ya don't mind me asking

    • Anytime, but I dont know every detail so you will probably be able to judge this better than I can.
      Well, for me my ex broke up and I simply froze him out completely. Until the moment I realised I was over him but then I still didn't contact him. I bumped into him a few months after and I asked how he was doing. He then took initiative in contact but I wasn't very responsive. He then said he missed me and we got back together. Still broke up after that, but its about what came before that of course

  • No I wouldn't contact him ever again he broke your heart to talk to others

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    • It's that a disproportionate response to just talking to someone?

  • No contact and get on with your life.

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  • :( if he missed you or wanted to be with you i think he would of contacted you by now. Maybe see what he's been up to before you do message him, maybe he's moved on. It sucks but it might be true

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  • No don't contact him. Move on

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  • Stupid ex move on don't worry about him there are other guys out there

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  • Just move on. You were a rebound

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    • And the other girls are a rebound but really what he wants is his ex.

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    • Damn girl you got a keep wrangler sport? What the hell are you fucking with this guy for? You have it going on girl I'm serious. I am drunk but I just had to say this and my words are coming from my heart. You are way too good for him! I seriously have a feeling he is going to come back and when he does ignore him! I also have a feeling that a good guy is coming your way soon. I am usually on point when it comes to premonitions. Lay in your bed close your eyes and smile because happiness is coming your way!! Goodnight and have a blessed night.

    • Lol!!! Thanks girl! And right I don't know why I'd did. Ahah. But thanks you too 😴😴

  • Do NOT. EVER. EVER. EVER. EVEEERRRRRR Text that bastard again. EVER.
    Please, girl. Respect yourself and find a real man--a committed one with a good heart.

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  • Um what a dick, dont waste your time trying to get him back, someone who can just change their mind about someone they care about that quickly shows a lot of red flags, fuck that right off

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  • Y'all sound unhealthy for one another. I'm not saying you're unhealthy just that relationship. Find someone worth your time.

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  • I would just keep up with the no contact. It doesn't sound like it was a healthy relationship with him leaving to want to talk to other girls, and it most likely will not end up working out and you will get hurt again.

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  • Don't text him. You're just missing that companionship not him and have those what ifs. He has feelings for other women and that isn't going away any time soon. He's going to end up cheating on you if you break down and go after him since he likes his ex and other girls. I suggest move on, find a new guy.

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  • Yes, keep the no contact rule up. Find someone else. Don't go back with a guy like that.

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  • In your case I think it's not worth it to get back with him. I don't know him or he situation because it sounds like he wants to play the field and isn't looking for a relationship with you. I think contacting him would only end up hurting you. If you're still hoping to get back together, I would leave it up to him to get in touch.

    Now for me, when my boyfriend and I broke up, we were still in touch. We still hung out as friends. We weren't together for about 6 months. But we did end up getting back together. So I didn't do NC with him. But I feel like your situation is a little different

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    • Okay, I gotcha. I was just gonna stick with that. If he truly wants me back, I'll hear something. If not. I'll live. I'll continue to use this time to heal and focus on my stuff

    • Yeah I think that's good. I think he needs to make the effort since he was the one that ended it. Good luck! Either way, you'll be fine I'm sure :)

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