My ex of 5 years is asking me for money... I feel bad. I made a mistake, he left me, and now wants my help?

We were together for a long time, he was my best-friend and basically grew up together. Our relationship during the first 3 years we're the best. We had created a bond more different than anything I have ever felt, despite being young. His family and I really got along, and they had a deep respect for me due to my accomplishments and my sincere want for their son to have a good future. Over time, we moved in together and I slowly but surely turned into a nagging mother. I was no longer a girlfriend. I had to take care of us, and always make sure we were going to be able to pay our bills. I made a mistake and started talking to someone else, which he caught by the text messages. He was hurt, angry, and felt betrayed so he asked for time. I admit, during the next few days after he left... I would text him once a day. (I know, that was my mistake). Until I found out he was talking to his ex just two weeks after our break-up. I asked him and he just said they aren't even talking. I saw the messages, I know he's lying. So we met up and BOTH decided that this is it. I asked him one final time if I should wait, and he told me not to because what if he doesn't come back? I was okay with that. Until he send me a text asking for money. I know he needs it as he is heavily struggling financially... what do I do.

Updates:
Since the text I have yet to respond. He has texted me again saying that if I can't help, he does understand.. but he just needs help and hates to ask me.

Am i stupid to think he's actually in need?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • He might be in need. But do you want to be stuck in the position to care for him and yourself? I know its not good to say this but half the world is striggling. If you go back and help him, you'll be helping him for a much longer time and it won't be just a one time thing. He'll know he has a source to help out whenever he needs help and you'll be back tl where you were. Again, i know its wrong but dont get stuck in the position you got out of and go through all that again. If you can go through the pain of being brought down, its your choice but id say i couldnt if it were up to me. and id feel bad but id know i wouldn't get stuck again

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    • That's what I am trying to tell myself.. I just feel like he wouldn't have asked me if he didn't need to. We haven't talked for about a week and even before that we barely spoke.

    • he's trying to manipulate you by acting this way. The only reason being that you end up thinking about the good time and it works. you're gonna end up caring about someone you dont like to be with if you help him.

    • Thats exactly why my brain is over thinking it. I was getting close to a point of acceptance then this. He still has a lot of his stuff at my place too that I've asked him to take but he's got nowhere to go. Why can't he let me move on

Most Helpful Girl

  • under no circumstances should you feel obliged to give him any help financially, he should be ashamed of himself for asking, just don't reply

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    • I didn't respond. I still feel bad as he texted me again saying that he hates to ask me but needs help. I still care for him

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What Guys Said 2

  • Why is this a dilemma? Say F OFF!

    He is a loser and always will be. Don't be scammed.

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    • It's a dilemma because I spent almost 6 years with him and knew him for a longer time. This is also a recent break-up and I feel bad... I just dont want him to think I dont care if I dont help. He says he understands if I can't give him money but i feel bad

    • If you feel bad, then you don't understand how awful a person he is to even ask.

      You shouldn't care.

  • tell him to get a job

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    • He's trying to from what I know

    • how you know he's telling you and how was he when he was with you did he work

What Girls Said 1

  • Both of you are in the wrong you cheated first and he did it in return honestly I wouldn't help

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