So I can move on properly, please help me understand this?

If anyone remembers me, I'm the girl with the boyfriend ( of 8 months ) that didn't have a job or car and stays with his mom, when I met him. So he didn't talk to me for 2 days and finally he did but this text message I wasn't expecting at all.
"Samantha, I've been doing a lot of thinking these past couple days, and I'm sorry to say that I am breaking up with you. đŸ˜¥đŸ˜¥đŸ˜¥ I'm sorry, but I feel like we have grown apart. I know that you thought I was the one for you, but I'm not. You deserve someone better. And I know you your are gonna find that guy that's gonna give you everything your​ heart desires. In all God's honesty I'm just not happy. I'm sorry for making you cry and I never wanted to hurt you, but I need to be alone and start to work on my own life I want to have my own place and car before I turn 23. I don't want to live with my mom any longer than I have to, I'm sorry if you don't understand​. But I do need one big favor, please don't call me or text me or try to come visit me. I don't wanna make this any harder than it already is. Please take care of yourself Samantha, best of luck to you and your family."
He knows I don't care about him not having everything, so why is he giving up, knowing that I was always there for him. I even gave him money for food and never asked for it back.

Updates:
This was all about him not having anything. I guess I couldn't prove him wrong that I didn't care.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, it could be a several things. The worse one is it could just be him trying to break up in a nice way.(I don't know him so I cannot say one way or another its just one possibility). The other is having a girlfriend is expensive and he simply cannot due to his economic situation afford to be in a relationship. The third option (and I think this and the second are probably are the reason why) is that for men being a provider having a good job be successful are all part of being a man, its almost as important as actually bein biologically male to a man to be successful as this is how he can provide for a girlfriend/wife and a family. So it could be that this is embaressing him and making him depressed which could in turn make him respond the way he has, basically feeling that he needs to focus on himself and his ambition and success before he can ever truly have a serious relationship. I would actually suggest talking to him just to find out if this is the case and maybe you can work something out (if he is only 22 then I don't think he has to be that worried) but that is up to you (some times when your depressed you don't make well thought out decisions so it might be beneficial to both of you to talk either to work things out or to get closure). So that would be my guess as to why he responded the way he did (we gain purpose through utility, if we cannot contribute that is a huge blow to ego and sense of self worth. Women want to be desired men want to be useful).

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    • I completely agree with you for option 3. But I tried but he won't let me, I even said I will wait but he said he won't come back. So maybe I just wasn't the one for him, and he just turned 21 last week. I don't want to lose him, but I have to respect his wishes, even though I didn't give up right away, but he didn't give in at all.

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    • And thank you so much.

    • Not a problem, hope things work out.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Perhaps he feels guilty?

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    • That's what my parents thinks, but I thought he knew I didn't care, about him having a car or a job and where he is living. Some people go through hard times, but not for long. I guess he just didn't want to be with me.

    • People convince themselves otherwise all the time though.

    • Yes that is true.

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What Guys Said 6

  • I have been following your questions since for long time. But I am surprised that thing turned out this way. He seemed to love you so dearly. And things had progressed well. Now things have turned around for the worse. I cannot believe what I hear. But take care. God loves you.

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    • Yes you have, I thought he did as well, and it was. Well he doesn't really want me out of his life because out of curiosity, I asked if we can at least try and be friends and he responded back quickly and said, " idc, but I have to go to bed, I have to leave for work at 4:30 " and we both said our good nights, I'm not going to bother him, and wait patiently until he text or call me. Maybe occasionally I will ask how things are going but not this month, unless he talks to me first. I wish we can start over again soon. Maybe if our friendship progress into something good, we able to try again, if not I will thank him for trying and will leave his life. Thank you so much.

  • What a jerk! I can't believe he hurt you like that. Why would he do that to you? And he told you to not call or even text him? That's just messed up! God will find you someone.

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    • He let me talk to him, but not on phone, my parents has a feeling something is wrong and whatever happened he broke up with me because of it. So many people wanted us to break up because I was " too good for someone like him " others thought I was being desperate. While I was ignoring everyone maybe he thought they were right. I don't want to lose him, so I asked if we could at least try and stay friends, he said he didn't care but he only responded​ that way because he had to go to bed early. If our friendship doesn't work, I will leave him alone.

  • some guys are goal oriented.. they seem to have a goal in life to become successful.. they are usually emotionally numb.. can't say much..

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  • might be he is in love with some who is looking very beautiful then you and rich more than you. that's why this message sent you. he don't love you at all. he is not at all interested in you ever.

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    • That could be very true.

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    • No need to be sorry, you were very helpful and thank you.

    • anytime my dear friend...

  • Usually for guys, they don't like to be nagged by his Mum and he obviously is trying to move on and get on with life. Everyone has their own dream to fulfil and maybe he will or will not get back to you.

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    • I understand, well I told him, I didn't want to leave him and I won't talk to any guy and will wait, and I would of waited til he was 23 but he said he wasn't going to come back to me.

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    • Have a great day ahead

  • I remember u said he was the guy who made you tube video's for a living, didn't he!

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    • No not this one.
      I'm just the one That posted about everyone saying how I shouldn't be with him because of him not having anything.

    • could you post that question here once again?

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