If I fell out of love with someone, should I even feel guilty about it? Is there something wrong with me feeling relief?

I got married really young, I turned 20 that same year. We dated for a year, were friends for a year and then we met up... as I said, dated for a year and then decided that we wanted to be together so he immigrated to Canada to be with me. I paid everything of course. He is also the same age as me. I feel like I was in love him, I really was... but a lot has changed and I have changed as a person. My values and my attitude have shifted. I see the world differently and I am a lot more mature than I used to be. I fell out of love with him for numerous reasons. I expected that as him being my husband, he would take more controls over the house, help me pay now bills. Help me take care of our home, you know... stuff you're supposed to do. I feel like I am living with a man child rather than an actual man who can take control, who can puts effort into growing. We also just don't have the same taste in anything really. He doesn't try to enjoy the things that I like even though I have made the effort to enjoy the stuff he likes. He doesn't challenge me or help me with my goals. I don't see any change. I used to be very attracted to him, but over the past year, I just don't feel that attraction anymore. I can't even fake it. I see him more as a friend than as a husband because we do get along great. But to say that I'm in love with him, I can tell you that I'm no longer in love with him. I felt such a relief when I finally told him how I really felt. It was like a weight lifted off my shoulders. I can't imagine how heart broken he is, I hate that I have to upset him with all this. It's not easy for me to tell him how I feel either because I feel guilty about breaking his heart. So am I wrong to feel some sort of relief? Am I a sociopath? I'm just so confused.


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What Guys Said 3

  • It's called HYPERGAMY
    Google it.

    Yes, you married far too young. Your generation just does not get it when we tell them this. They just think we're full of shit.

    I wish my kid would listen. He's going to do the very same thing. :(

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  • No its normal you fell out of love with someone who you thought was right for you turns out he wasn't right for you

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  • it's fine.. nothing to feel guilty about it.. it happens

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What Girls Said 2

  • I don't think you're a sociopath. I think you've been denying your true feelings for so long and putting up a front for those closest too you and you're relived to to aknowledge and start handling your true feelings (Kinda like a dam bursting and a relief of pressure). You mentioned that the 2 of you still get along great so I think that the 2 of you should try counciling if he's really hurt and I think that you should try to rekindle the relationship or whatever. A lot of married couples can barely stand each other but the fact that you still care deeply about him despite some of his not so ideal tendencies is sign that you 2 still have a chance in my opinion.

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  • Did you even really have time to know if you were actually IN love? You cannot truly know anyone in only a few months, and you cannot actually be in love with a stranger. Love at first sight is s misleading myth. Lust at first site is more accurate. Sounds like you married based on loneliness and infatuation. If you truly don't love him, it would have been more wrong to stay and hold him back.

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