What to do when you catch genital herpes from your partner? Stay or leave?

So my current partner of 2 years gave me herpes. I got it about a year into the relationship. He was my first, but I was not his first. He is a lot older than me and had slept with a lot of chicks before we got together. My best friend tells me he cheated otherwise I would've got it straight away. I believe he didn't cheat on me as I asked him and he said no (or am I just being naive)
He had a few coldsores on his lips throughout the first year of our relationship and I wouldn't kiss him during those times. He would say he didn't know why he was getting them.

  • Stay, he didn't cheat. You still have each other
    7%(1)12%(3)Vote22%(2)
  • Stay, not many guys will want you now
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  • Leave, he cheated
    67%(10)62%(15)Vote56%(5)
  • Leave, guys will still want you
    19%(3)22%(5)Vote22%(2)
  • Kill myself cause my life is now practically over
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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm pretty sure he cheated. No way that you cjould have sex for 2 years and not catch it even if he took all the precautions (which I doubt).

    While most people would rather have someone who doesn't have herpes I wouldn't want to stick with someone who cheated on me, didn't get himself checked and then knowingly or unknowingly giving it to me.

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    • He told me he got tested all the time and was clean, I never saw any paperwork​ though. He told me he hadn't had sex for years after his ex who was pregnant with his kid and engaged to cheated and left him for the other guy.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, no offense, but people who cheat are more than likely to lie about cheating when asked directly. So, I definitely wouldn't just believe him on spot. Your friend is right- you would have gotten herpes immediately if he had it when you first started dating. The fact that you got it a year later is more than odd. Talk with your doctor if you want to make sure. Ask them if it's normal to get herpes a year later from when you first got together with your boyfriend. If she says it's mainly unlikely, then he most definitely cheated on you. However, I would break up with the guy on spot if I found out I got herpes from him because he should have warned me and gotten daily check-ups since he was sexually active with me just as I would with him - especially if we didn't use protection.

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    • I cried so much when I went to the doctors and she told me I had herpes. He even questioned me jokingly if I had cheated on him when I told him.

What Guys Said 4

  • That's a tough one. I'd probably be inclined to stay since well... you've been zapped and you're pretty much going to need to find a new partner that has herpes as well. If you like this guy (and it seems you do) you might as well stick with him.

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    • He was my first, I love him. Thought we would be together forever. First guy I actually opened up to and thought understood me. As much as it sounds stupid he is different to every other guy or at least he was?

  • hum... he probably cheated. herpes comes and goes and people usually lye about how and when they got it. it is possible that he didn't cheat. but it is hard to believe he didn't know what it was. leave or stay is up to you. but i think he is lying about not knowing.

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  • Are we talking about herpes simplex 1 or herpes simplex 2 because there's a pretty huge difference between the two

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    • I'm not sure. The doctor just said you have genital herpes and pretty much that it's not a big deal, it's more like a skin rash

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    • It was really painful this one time we were having sex so I told him to stop and asked him to look as it was really painful and he said there were sores down there so I went straight to the doctor and she said it was genital herpes

    • Yeah it's really not a big deal. I don't know how long ago this question was asked but here is a video on herpes that is properly researched. (They pretend to trash it at the beginning and then tell you the true facts) Adam Ruins Everything - You Probably Have Herpes and That's Okay
      If you're a sweet gal plenty of guys will still want and love you. No worries.

  • If he was eating you out, it could have transferred his oral herpes to your genitals. Happened to my friend. Sucks, but there is a lot of treatment options. Don't count yourself out. Just have to tell people before y'all get your freak on.

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What Girls Said 2

  • That is terrible 😔😔
    I would leave him out of anger.

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  • I be so mad probably leave. Can't do anything stuck with it

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