Heartbroken. Need serious advice, anything helps?

So me&my ex broke up, granted he's much older than me. I'm 22&he's 48&I know what a lot Of people are thinking, already

Things were always great, except we'd barely see each other because of our schedules he's a professional musician plays in a lot of bands here in Vegas&I go to school full time, work&do modeling. But when we would see each other it was good. We were together for almost a year&last Sunday he dumps me on Easter over text, he never had a good reason to. just said he wasn't "feeling our relationship any more then, asked me not to hate him because he didn't hate me&that he knew at some point I wanted kids, and that he was never ever ever going to have them." We had never discussed this before. I mean yeah some day I would have wanted kids but not anytime soon. He never communicated any of his feelings to me about anything so how was I suppose to know something was wrong?

Following this my friend reached out to him &was like you owe her an explanation&he said "nothing I say will make her feel better, she will heal on her own in time" so basically he wasn't going to give me an explanation&was gonna let me feel like shit til I got over it? I love the dude, I don't hate him I just want to understand. I messaged him after my friend told me what he had said. Basically saying I loved him&didn't understand but I don't hate him&that I love him enough to let him be happy even if it didn't include me (which killed me) he replied a few hours after&said it's "no ones fault. You didn't do anything. There was no roots. You'll agree in time" I couldnt believe how cold he was being, I'm so crushed&I haven't talked to him since. I've been ignoring his stories on snap chat even tho the last two days he's been posting pictures of other girls. I'm so hurt by it I have no idea what to do or what this means. he seems so unphased. I've been trying to be mature about it I haven't blasted him on social media, Im letting him have his space. I want him back but I don't know


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think the age Gap was definitely an issue. Usually the older person wants respect for their life experience.. yet.. you're struggling to be equals since you're deeming yourselves in a relationship and it just doesn't work out. Sometimes older adults like him may be past those "long explanation" phases of relationships because he's been in and out of so many during his life and it's still more fresh to you than it is him.

    I think he may have been with you because he found another young girl that was interested in being with him so he jumped on it. And I don't know if you genuinely liked him or if you were going after him for either finances or guidance.

    Another possibility is he may still be a child inside and not know what he wants relationship wise in life, and that had to be clear before you commit to someone. I find no reason to commit yourself to anyone that could be your dad, especially if planning to settle down with someone almost 30 years your senior. there's just a dissonance between the generations, and as he ages, he will not be able to fulfill your needs, and you may be stuck being his caretaker.

    Some people claim they're "mature for their age" and that's their justification, but I legitimately met this 21 year old girl who claimed her "boyfriend" was 40. They were having trust issues, arguing over Facebook, and believe me, this girl was not the brightest for her own age let alone to date someone that much older. I couldn't even get her to have an intelligent conversation with me. He was just with her for being 21, that's all, but he was also still a child inside.

    I wouldn't sweat it, I'd say find a guy your own age who you can grow with that doesn't play games. You'll be able to relate better, and there are good younger guys out there.

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    • I honestly feel like he has commitment issues. He like doesn't know what he wants. He's use to girls leaving him or cheating, he is into younger females for what reason I don't know. But he's a musician so he sees a lot of females on a regular basis because of his job and because it's Vegas. I mean I realized what I was getting into when I started dating him I realized the age gap but loved who he was as a person. I'm extremely mature for
      My age given all I've endured it's just shitty he's a grown ass man and acts like a guy my age.

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    • I mean I've dated guys my age and it's never worked out because I was always more serious but then again I never was in love with them. Sounds harsh but I never said I love you to any of my boyfriends until this last one. And now I'm crushed and I feel like an idiot and so inadequate

    • The older ones seem to know what women want to hear. they have more trial and error experience. You can love him at a distance without truly being in love with him. But now you can say "It's never worked out with any guy I dated, young or old", same with me regarding younger women, never worked out.

      So, just start a fresh slate, don't aim so high, maybe enjoy being single for a while, and the right guy will show up at some point, abd he'll surprise you.

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What Guys Said 5

  • I think he lost his feelings if he ever had them for u then looked at things logically and came to the conclusion that it is also better for u when u guys break up. He doesn't see a future with u and don't want u to get any false hopes. Probably not ready or willing to settle down or commit I don't know

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  • Nothing special. He just fucked you and leaved you. Hi is 48 old. Did you really think that hi wanted love with you? No!!! Hi wanted just sex and thats reason why Hi used you like a old car.

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  • make your self busy in work

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  • i am so loving seeing all the men out there not giving a flying fuck anymore about woman's feelings. Don't you see little pussies how you fucked with men through feminism? Come on sweet puss... you must see it. fuckin women ruined everthing

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  • He enjoys living the bachelor lifestyle. It probably got to real with you. Not everyone wants long lasting relationships.

    It sucks and he could have done the break up a different way but this is how it happened. Just take some time to mingle with your feelings and continue living life. You still have other aspects of your life you can focus on.

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    • Think it's commitment issues or he's scared of what I was trying to give him. It's sad.

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