How do I help a "suicidal" friend?

Her boyfriend broke up with her almost two months ago, and she's suicidal. Basically she thinks I'm her only friend cos her classmates in college hate her for some reason. She always calls me and tells that she's tired of everything, she has lots of problems, no one loves her etc and thinks it will be better if her life ends. During her first call, I was damn scared since of course, it's about her life. But as she continues to threaten me and her ex, I'm getting tired of it. Her ex (also my close friend) left her because of her attitude.

My other friends said that she's acting like a psycho. As much as I want to help, I'm afraid to tell something harsh/direct because I don't want to offend her (scary since she wants to kill herself). Tbh, her mindset starts to affect my life negatively, but I can't leave her because she's too helpless.

Thanks for taking your time to read this. :(


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You can't do more than listen patiently to her problems.
    I listened to several. Some ended well , others... :'(

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Let her know you love her & care for her, listen, be there for her when she calls. Try to find activities you both can enjoy like hiking, working out, or whatever. Just be very wary when all of a sudden one day she is very relaxed & really happy... that is usually when suicidal people have made the decision to go through with it.

    Keep in mind, this is also a mental load that untrained individuals cannot handle properly. If you can possibly talk her into going to a psychiatrist for professional help, it would be the best thing. Offer to go with her to the appointment for moral support.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 6

  • 1. Be a good listener. 2. Do all you can do to get her to seek professional help. Friends are not equipped to deal with this life or death condition.

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  • all you can do now is let her vent her problems whether that'd be to you I mean I completely relate to your suicidal friend. So how to fix it is another equation I'd start by getting her put more she might be an introvert like me so let her see that there's more to this world than her ex. So get her out more and if not get her to dl this app and get her to talk to me because I kind of feel the same way and if laughter is the best medicine I have the cure to her depression right here

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  • There are suicide hot lines and it depends what state or even country that can help. I would definitely recommend it. The people on have degrees or license certified professional that can help.

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  • I have a friend like that. I just tell him to do it allready. I know he's to much of a pussy to actually do anything.

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  • Ahh tell her to stop whinging. Seriously... Tell her to stop being selfish.

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    • This does not work for someone who is truly contemplating suicide. To us, it may seem logical to say, but it IS the WORSE thing to say to a person who is facing severe depression & suicidal.

    • Show All
    • Suicidal people are mentally weak. They are not thinking like we do. It is depression, it is a mental illness, a disease. They need to be guided through coping skills by a professional, someone trained to deal with suicidal individuals. Us regular people, can trigger the suicidal thoughts more just by one sentence, one word, one action... sometimes something we did or worse didn't do... like just be a good listener.

      I watched my brother & neighbor clean up my boyfriend's remains after he blew his head off with a shotgun in our closet. We were together for 12 years, have a son together. I told him to suck it... thought it was for attention & to get his way, but no, he really meant it. He took his life after i left for work, while our son was asleep in the next room.

    • Though I am not sure not saying suck it up would have changed the outcome, I will not forgive myself for being so harsh. I was not a good listener because i viewed his complaints as whining. I failed him, myself, my son & his family.

  • Should something happen, don't blame yourself. I hate to sound so grim but all we can do is listen and do our very best. Be there for her when you are able but don't live in guilt if something happens that is out of your control. I hope it doesn't come to that though.

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    • I agree. You must remember that you did not make that final decision. You cannot make her choices. It will be hard not to blame yourself, but reality is, it is not. Just try to be there for her & don't forget to take care of yourself i the process. If you can talk her into pro help, offer to go with her. Be wary when all of a sudden she seems very happy & relaxed... at that point she may have made the decision to go through with it.

What Girls Said 2

  • I would talk to her a lot and also going to a psychiatrist works

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  • she don't have the right to burden you so much with her problems.
    I personally would say she is selfish and needs attention. I know it sounds harsh but yeah.
    She is probably around your age, so she is really young and has her whole life ahead, her life won't be bad, just because she had a break up. Everyone has a break up, it's bad, yeah but not at all a reason to kill yourself.

    I would tell her to suck it up, life isn't a fairytale and she will meet other guys and have so many more relationships, also tell her that you will help her and listen to her, but she should not threaten you anymore with killing herself to just get your attention

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    • What you say sounds logical to us, but you cannot tell a person who is threatening suicide to suck it up, get over it or even claim they are only wanting attention. Yes, it may only be for attention, but you cannot take that chance. It can possibly cause more harm than good. I learned that the hard way...

      I assumed my boyfriend of 12 years, my son's father was threatening suicide only for attention & to get his way. I came home from work last August to find he had blew his head off in our closet. My brother & neighbor cleaned up his remains that night. My son, without a father. My life, changed forever.

    • I'm sorry that this happened to you, it is awful.

      In this case it's a young teen and in my eyes I wouldn't really believe it much, of course she needs help and you shouldn't say it that harsh, but this girl is threatening the ex and the asker with killing herself to get her way, I mean someone really thinking about suicide won't threaten other people with it, they will just do it

    • ^^^Not true... It could be their call for help. They probably do not want to do it at this point, but could definitely turn to it when everyone is fed up with the attitude & turns their back to her. I would say teens are at a higher risk because in their mind, the bs they go through seems like it would be forever to them. Some definitely don't know how to compute the bs we go through as kids, which is why so many turn to suicide. It is a life, & we cannot take that chance to assume. I won't let that happen again to me. Suicide does not just hurt the one who does it, but also those who loved them. It is definitely selfish though, but like i said they are not thinking right.

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