Am I setting myself up for heartbreak again?

I recently delivered my two babies on May 5th, my babies father and I broke up 4 weeks ago and he's been in a new relationship since then. I've allowed him to stay with me and the babies in my house that he used to live in with me.. when we were out of town delivering the babies he convinced me his relationship with her was over and that he was going to focus on our babies and him and I were doing this together. He was so amazing with me the 5 days we were away, now we're back in our town and he's still in his relationship this is hard for me. I foolishly still love him and want our family but I'm not sure I can do it emotionally if he's still dating her, it's killing me.. I don't want to ask him to leave though he's amazing with our kids.. any advice?


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What Guys Said 6

  • This is called "tough love". Just because he's good with the babies doesn't give him permission to live with them and disregard you.

    He either makes up his mind and stays with you and gives up the girlfriend, or he gets to leave the house and he can visit the babies periodically. Be strong and excessively firm on this point with him. While you're at it, set a time frame - like 2 weeks tops for him to make up his mind.

    You have 2 extremely important reasons to take up your time and waiting on him to determine what he's going to do doesn't fit into your time schedule. It's going to be very difficult raising 2 children period. If he chooses to be without you, fine. That just makes that process even more difficult. But it's one you'll need all your effort to focus on. If he decides to be without you, then make every effort to get child support from him. He was "man" enough to make the kids. The very least he should do, is pay his portion of raising them too!

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    • I just looked at your profile and your pic. He left you for some other girl? Dang! WTF was he thinking? You're a very beautiful lady. I cannot imagine what's going through his mind - leaving his kids AND you too! SMH...

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    • You're welcome. I wish you the best with your new little ones!

  • You both need to take your kids and move, when you move take couples counseling. If he doesn't want to, then it's time to say goodbye to him.

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  • doesn't sound like he can be trusted and relied on. Having a different relationship elsewhere is just wrong towards you and your Kids and also towards the other person he is seeing. Either go with one for 100% Or dont go with anyone and be messing around like that.

    He needs to really make a solid choice and stand behind that choice with confidence. I would advise not allowing him to receive anything from you and the Kids while he is still floating somewhere between you and someone else. He needs to be convinced of what is really most important to him and that he will not have one when also having another.

    Its either one Or the other. You should not be available to him if he cannot completly choose and support you and only you. He needs to make that choice knowing he can't have anything from you untill he does, otherwise he will allow himself to not respect you properly in what you need and deserve from him.

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    • Thank you.. your words are helpful for me to stand up to him... can I ask for clarification.. when you say not give him anything from me... you mean I should have him find somewhere else to live if he's dating her?

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    • To go through hell for someone is one thing, but to be feeling miserable for someone is quite another. Try not to Let that happen

    • That's a very good point thank you

  • Yes. Kick him to the curb and get on with your life with your kids.

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  • Always do what is best for your family, but never let someone rule your life like that. that's not family.

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  • I think you're again going for that break up thing honey

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What Girls Said 1

  • You don't need the stress he's bringing you. You have two beautiful babies to focus on. You should change your relationship with him as one that's friends/co-parents. It doesn't look like he's going to leave her.

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