Will he realise that he has lost out on a good girl? If not now, months or years down the line?

We were due to marry in 2 months. Honestly, I wasn't happy but I didn't have the courage 2 call it off. We were 2geva only 8 months & it was a long distance rship. Our good times lasted first 3 months. I wanted more time in getting 2 kno him but he was adamant on marrying asap & settling down. I agreed. As time went, I realised he had no respect 4 me, arguments became frequent & he resorted 2 calling me derogatory names each time. Names included "retard", "imbecile." I explained how I felt but he would say "I have to call u names because I can't hit a girl; Name calling isn't personal 2 me; ur over sensitive." Many occasions, he demanded a break. He even used to check out other girls in front of me. He wanted me 2 become more modest with my clothing even tho I don't wear revealing clothes. The last few weeks of our break up became really bad. I put him first in absolutely everything, gave him so much, recreated his CV, made lots of effort 2 c him. He was so ungrateful. During this time I was realising he wasn't ready 4 commitment as his decisions didn't consider me. I wasn't goin 2 get a proper honeymoon bcoz of his messy finances but he was goin abroad 4 a stag. We decided a break for 2 wks & 2 days in I created an Instagram a/c. I went 2 follow him, I saw that he had liked a girl's pic who was wearing next 2 nothing. I felt so hurt. Hypocrite. Next, I made a mistake which I feel so disappointed in myself 4. He'd told me something in confidence & in anger, I exposed this secret to his dad. Since then, he has blocked me on whatsapp & doesn't want anything 2 do with me. I've told him countless times I'm sorry, but he doesn't want me. I've been texting him quite a lot with abuse & he said I was harrassing him & ignored me after. 1 month down the line, I see that he's enjoying life & been on holiday.
But my only question: will he realise what he has lost in me? He'd told me on the day I returned his belongings 2 him that other than the mistake I'd made, I was perfect.


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What Guys Said 20

  • No, I doubt it. But the looks of it, your relationship never really was that great. If he couldn't respect you then, he's not going to to respect you later... Especially now you've retaliated and done some things that make it harder for him to like you. He's probably more likely to remember the bad things you did rather than the good things, that's just how a lot of people are, focusing on the bad rather than the good.

    Don't worry about it, be thankful it's over and try to move on.

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    • It hurts knowing that I gave him everything I could and he was so ungrateful for it. If I did half of the things he did during our relationship, he would have flipped.

    • Realize that the problem is him. So you can't expect him to realize he lost a good thing with you if he doesn't even get right with himself.

  • He is so wrapped up in himself, he'll only miss the part where you bow down to him. He didn't care about the rest. You should be feeling very lucky you didn't get married. It would never have worked. You NEVER marry someone if you have any reservations at all. Even if it's the day before the wedding. If he isn't in control of everything, he's not happy. You want a husband, not a dictator.

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  • Typically, whenever a girl says this, she wasn't what she describes herself as.

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  • Well, honestly he liked that pic of a revealing girl because it isn't his girlfriend or fiance. That doesn't necessarily mean he knows he will be with her.
    I mean the whole thing about him treating you horribly by calling you names and making you dress like an Amish woman is God awful and shows he has deep insecurity issues by acting so negatively and violently about it.
    Us guys all get jealous *especially the more closer we get to our girl*, we are possessive and we are territorial.
    But the mature men know how to handle the situation and know how to make their woman feel loved.
    Maybe if he treated you better then you would sub consciously not wear such revealing clothing but there could be a feeling that you new that never seemed right and that you may have known it might not work out.

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  • Consider yourself very lucky to have got out of that "relationship". He cared nothing for you or your feelings.
    From what you say, he comes across as a controlling, nasty, self centered, inconsiderate, arsehole of a guy. That he has blocked you is a huge positive.
    Give your time and affection to someone who values you as a person and as a woman.

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  • Look I understand your hurt we all been there, I was almost married to girlfriend 2 years girl but didn't work out. But guest what? I took of time to focus on myself, slowly moved on for myself and find someone 1000% better then my ex who respected me n honestly I think if not happens I'll marry her. So truest me give it time then maybe one day you will ne happy and have your ex hitting you up to date you again. Then guest what you get to do? tell him to fuck off best feeling in the world truest me.

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  • Not to be a douche or anything but you can barely spell... not exactly sure how you consider yourself "perfect"

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  • I mean he lost his own personal slave so... Maybe.

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  • What he did was wrong but you are at fault also. You retaliated by telling his dad something you should not have. You also texted him with abuse so you were harrassing him,

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  • Probably, but I wouldn't doubt that he has an interest anymore.

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  • You wanted to marry after 8 months? L

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    • He was very adamant on settling down asap.

    • So? It's both of your lives you're playing with here, why tf would you marry after 8 months? You got what was coming to you...

  • Yes, people do realize.

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  • I don' think he cares at all.

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    • Perhaps some time down the line, when he doesn't have a girl who puts up with the sh*t he used to put me through, along with giving him everything in my power, he will realise.

  • Someday he might regret it. But first you have to forgive yourself.

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  • Nah, don't worry about it. Plenty more fish in the sea...

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  • possibly could haunt him the rest of his life

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  • "2geva" "2 wks" "4 a stag" "2 c him"

    Seriously, you're 26 and typing like that?

    Small wonder he lost interest in you, you've got the maturity of a 12 year old...

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  • All women are tempted towards sins like envy, but not all women act on their impulses. In spite of what many observe in the West, I have met many virtuous women: few sexual partners before marriage, respectful, submissive to their husbands, physically fit, feminine, good mothers. Most are in the older generations, especially before the Boomers. Most are involved in traditional religion. There are fewer younger women who are virtuous, and every single one that I have met is involved in traditional religion. They tend to be more rural, from small churches.
    Traditional religion can be extremely helpful to finding and vetting women. It provides a community with certain values that you want in a woman, and it provides reliable references for a person’s character. A woman who spent her younger years “out in the world” and came back at 29 be a “born-again-virgin” is a red flag, but a woman in her early 20s who teaches Sunday School and helps with the potluck dinners is far more likely to be wife material. The older women in the church will usually let you know if a woman is a whore.
    Traditional religion acts as a curb (but not a cure) for women’s immoral, rebellious, destructive behavior. My wife goes to a women’s bible study group, where she often receives instruction from older religious women. This includes things like telling her to be submissive to me, lose weight and be healthy, not waste money, have cheerful sex on a regular basis, and to learn how to get some control over her emotions:
    "Teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands. (Titus 2:3)"
    One of my wife’s friends once corrected her attitude toward sex, saying: “you need to view your body as a sheath for your husband’s sword.” She now routinely thanks me after we have sex. I am not a natural alpha, but I have little fear that my wife is going to suddenly cut off sex if I have a minor slip up.
    With this great power comes great responsibility. As a patriarch, I am commanded to lead my family, instructing my wife and kids on how to act properly, with genuine love for their well-being. I must be on top of my game, be physically fit, and think rationally when my wife is irrational. I attend a men’s Bible study, where we talk about leading as men.

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    • Every man in my group owns a gun, and we often go shooting together.
      We encourage, support, teach, and correct each other. I have had sharp, intense, discussions with my pastor and men in my church about my own character and life decisions. Things are handled like men, discussed in the open, with real-talk (not rhetorical bullshit), and masculine love and concern for each other. This has aided me in thinking deeply about my life, and correcting bad decisions I have made.
      Awhile back we helped another man who was on the verge of divorce. He was working 100 hours a week because he would not stand up to his employer, and had no energy to lead his family. We told him that the marriage counseling he was getting was bullshit (“talk about your feelings more!”), and that his slavish attitude toward his employer was making his wife lose respect for him. The women in our church also talked to his wife about choosing to be respectful and submissive, in spite of her rebellious emotions...

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    • In patriarchal religion, female sins, like rebellion, envy, dishonesty, hypergamy, dressing and acting like a whore, and “hamstering” or rationalizing sin are condemned:
      "When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. (Genesis 3:6)"
      I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God. (1 Timothy 2:9-10)"
      "And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. (1 Timothy 2:14)”
      This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’ (Proverbs 30:20)

    • Patriarchal, traditional religion will not change female nature, but it can help restrain it. This is how past generations maintained civilization. I can confidently say that traditional religion is the main reason I can maintain a happy marriage in this cesspool of a culture. Those who are not religious might consider other institutions that may provide similar support for their marriage and child-raising.

  • if you're an ex, you're an ex. you realized you weren't right for each other. why should he care?

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  • u fucking snitched him out, but your perfect. That shits weak. he's better off.

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    • I know what I did was wrong but he put me through months of hell which led me to break in the end.

What Girls Said 2

  • No, he won't because he has nothing to realise. You (a person) are not your behaviour, so it's nothing special. And yes, you've already asked this question, stop thinking about it and do what he did - move on.

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  • Who knows. But don't waste your time waiting to see if he does. It's over, move on. If years from now things change and you guys rekindle, then it was meant to be but for now don't expect anything. Thats the painful truth.

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